Marks by Unknown

Author unknown...

Ok so I'm a 'marks' junkie. After my very first mark that lasted beyond over night I have been enamored with them ever since. This is a tricky situation for a girl who isn't a pain slut but I've discovered more than one way to satisfy my desire.

For me, marks represent many things, a badge of honor, a souvenir, or indicator of how much pain I was able to endure, how much of a slut I was. It really doesn't matter to me what they represent, excluding punishment of course, as long as I have some the day after the night before.

Not all my fellow submissives enjoy marks as much as I do. Some consider it an indication of being pushed too far while others truly hate the look of bruises as they fade. Some relate bruising to abuse and marks are an extreme hard limit for them. It's wise to discuss marks with your partner to find out how they view them. If, as a Dom, you 'have' to mark your submissive, its best you don't start playing with someone who has no interest in seeing the results of your sadism in the morning.

For the average submissive that is in general good health physically, marks are usually a welcomed aspect of bondage and S&M play. At the very least they might be ambivalent about them. One thing most of us have in common though, is the location the marks are displayed on our bodies. With the vanilla world to contend with, it isn't wise to leave marks in places a boss or mother or friend might see them. Personally, my rule on being marked is, if my clothing can cover them then the spot is fair game. Others might prefer the bruising be limited to their ass or their breasts. Again, it's worth finding these preferences out as it can avoid some nasty words later.

Decades of social conditioning has ingrained in us that women should not carry physical bruises from their relationships. Dominants and submissives have had to deal with that issue for years, as well as overcoming the difference between consensual play and abuse. For some, being marked is the line they use to separate one from the other. For others, a history of physical abuse may mean that marks on their skin will never be acceptable and if by some chance it happens, it can be extremely traumatic to them. For many more, we just love to see a little evidence to remind us or to use to show our friends the fun we had.

Now, getting back to the submissive that isn't a masochist. How are you supposed to mark a submissive that does not react well to pain? For me, by the time you are spanking or flogging me hard enough to mark me, my pain tolerance has long since been past. This isn't to say I refuse pain, it's just that I don't handle it as well a most. How do you mark somebody like this in a pleasurable manner?

I can tell you ways that have worked on me. Some, people will think, are extreme, others would be considered juvenile, but this requires creativity so I take what I can get.

Needle play. Seriously. The higher the gauge (the number) the thinner the needle, the less pain there is. But there are still little tiny polka dots left behind that last for at least a day and sometimes longer. Experiment a little, see how low your submissive can go with the gauge of the needle, we can all manage a little pain, so the sadist in you will get a thrill out it as well.

Violet wands also leave marks in their wake on my skin. Surprisingly enough the marks can last up to a week. They are not the pretty purple and blue marks of a bruise, but I've had some pretty funky red stripes happening on my back. If you get creative with the wand you can leave all kinds of patterns on a willing back. My breasts mark from the wand as well. A lot of surface blood vessels will get very very red and they take a few days to settle down.

The wand is tool that you can alter the intensity of the sensation, so again, the sadist in you can enjoy your submissive's reactions as you toy with the level of zap they receive. Personally, I tend to squirm and squeal the most from the violet wand, the noise alone makes me jump, not to mention the tingling to intense zap it can deliver.

A little trick that works on me for percussion instruments is to hit the same spot over and over without using too much pressure. This is great when the goal is to leave a big old bruise. I've been surprised to wake up I in the morning to a big purple splotch on my breasts or my ass from this technique because I usually don't notice it's being done at the time. I can't say I have been sorry to see those pretty purple colors covering my skin either.

The most juvenile and yet most effective way to mark my skin is by giving me a hickey. I almost hate to admit it because it is so reminiscent of the teenaged lover's lane mentality but it works. I'm not talking about the big neck sucking marks on the side of a neck here though. I'm talking breasts and inner thigh, perhaps the shoulder. They give me a little thrill ever time I see them. They can last a day or a week depending on the enthusiasm used in the giving of them and they always make me smile as long as my clothing can cover them up so the rest of the world can't see them. If you, as the sadist, require a pain element in this case, you can always use your teeth. A bite mark is pretty fun to look at too.

Last but not least there is the old-fashioned spanking or paddling. It is here that I have difficulty living through the event to reap the reward. I just don't like that kind of pain and I must grit my teeth and bear it until it is over.

There are things that help, at least for me, to overcome some of the difficulty involved in bearing this kind pain. Warm-ups help considerably. Starting off slowly with an implement that I like and working up to the hard stuff will allow me to go much further than starting out with say, a cane. Also there is the element of passion to consider. If heavier pain is administered in the middle or near the end of a punishment scene I can get to a point where I will beg to be hit harder. That's a big deal for me when I do. When I'm asking for pain I'm very focused on my dominant and my desire to please him is hitting the peak of the scale.

Admittedly the marks I have the next day from a session of that intensity are probably my most favorite and cherished because I know that at some point I was completely out of control, a place I really like to be. I also know that my dominant was able to take his own sadistic enjoyments to a level that we don't get to come by often. I'll check those marks many times throughout the day to watch the colors as they change and I feel disappointment when they begin to fade.

So as you can see, there are definitely ways to mark a submissive even when they are not masochistic. The techniques will very likely be different for each person and there is a skill in finding ways to satisfy your sadistic needs while not putting your submissive through punishments that they will not derive any pleasure from.

Please don't think that I am promoting the idea of serving your submissive, that's not what I'm saying here. It is a fact that each person has their own threshold for the amount of pain they can handle, for some of us the level is much lower than others. You don't have to use brute force to produce marks on the skin; there are other options available. And if you have sadistic tendencies that need to be carried out, and you have a submissive who doesn't like pain, then I hope you will now see there are ways around the problem.

You will hear this a thousand times when talking about the BDSM lifestyle. Talk it out, communicate and find what works for both of you.