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Issue number 34
Monday, August 13, 2001
Spanking, A Popular Fetish
by Jack Rinella

There’s a certain fascination about paddles and paddling that’s hard to explain. The easiest explanation, of course, is that the result, a warm, red, and glowing ass, feels quite good. I say that from experience.

But getting there doesn’t always feel good. In fact it hurts.

There are other satisfactions gained from the paddle, depending upon whether you are the giver or the receiver. As a Master I enjoy the idea of paddling because I can do it. I often remind Patrick that "I am doing this because I can." It is an issue of control, of power, of domination.

From the receiver’s end, or maybe on should write "at" the receiver’s end, there is the joy of surrender, the rush of endorphins, the macho feeling of "I can take this," and probably other psychological and emotional reasons that currently escape me.

The most popular spanking tool, of course, is the fraternity paddle. From that simple start the variations are myriad: different finishes, widths, thicknesses, and materials: wood, plastic, leather, and rubber. Collecting instruments seems to be a basic part of the spanker’s repertoire, even though a bare hand works well too. I once visited a guy who wanted to be spanked and was amazed at his collection of instruments.

He showed me more than 50 home-made and store-bought wooden paddles, as well as ones made of Lucite, Plexiglas, and caning. The wooden ones were highly crafted and polished to a brilliant sheen, as if lacquering and polishing a paddle were as much a fetish as having it used.

This guy was exceptionally creative, not only in making his own, but in finding suitable instruments of punishment where the average person wouldn’t ever think to look. Rug beaters, pastry whips, and spoons hung neatly next to crops, whips, and floggers.

Here was a collector who took his hobby seriously, even to asking, almost insisting, that I not stop until I had drawn blood. Doing so means that one spanks past pink, past dark red, past white, past blisters, past the lymph fluid that oozes when those blisters burst, right into blood blisters and blood. At that point, he’s happy and my arm is ready to fall off.

That isn’t a joke. The average spanker’s ass can take punishment that will weary even the strongest arm.

But I describe a spanker in the extreme. Most only seek a hot glow and the opportunity to jerk off while the paddle is being applied. In that vein, for those of us who acquiesce to make their dreams come true, there isn’t as much sexual fulfillment as I’d like. In fact, for many spankers, sex isn’t a very big part of the scene at all. Oh, some are accommodating enough but many prefer a paddle to a prick any day.

Many spanking aficionados are willing to switch between giving and getting. Not only is this a great way to learn all the dos and don’ts, it also has the happy effect of doubling the number of potential partners.

Some spankers, on the other hand, really only want to go one way or the other. Give and take, though, is fair and square. More than just that, I remember an exciting evening spent in a hotel room with an acquaintance from Texas who was into mutual spanking. His scenario was the "take it like a man" viewpoint: I’ll give you five; you give me five; let’s see who gives up first. It’s often best to practice saying "Uncle" before you begin to play with a dude as intense as this one. Seriously, though, it was a good time.

The spanking "fraternity" is large but you’ll have to work at finding its members. The aura of shame, the fear of rejection, and society-imposed guilt often keep novices from doing the active searching needed to find their spanking satisfaction.

It boils down to the fact that there’s a partner for everyone willing to look for him or her. And I mean everyone. You’ve got to do some looking, some advertising, some negotiating, and some sharing, but a partner is out there.

Asking around is a good way to start. Besides asking columnists, talk with bartenders, club members, and friends. The key concept here is "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Advertising means using the classifieds. Magazines, web sites, and phone services come to mind most readily, though I always caution not to run up large phone bills. Signally with hankies or a paddle attached to your belt works well in the right kind of bars. They tell me that spankers wear fuchsia, on the right for receiving, on the left for giving. I have to admit that I’ve never seen it and if I did the bar was probably too dark for me to tell what the color was anyway.

The negotiation part ought to be fairly obvious. You’ve got to talk to your prospective partner to really know what the two of you can agree on doing. With a fetish as specific as spanking you’ll want to know that you share the same interests. You don’t want to start paddling a person who doesn’t expect it. After all, once you’ve got him or her home, there’s little chance you’ll be able to find someone else that same night. Talk it over before you leave the bar.

Lastly, I’m a firm believer in the value of sharing. That doesn’t always mean that you switch. It means that you both experience satisfaction. If you can’t make your partner feel good then don’t expect to see your partner again. Keep them happy and they’ll come back to make you happy too.

Good spanking scenes come in a great number of varieties. Some are highly structured scenarios, such as school teacher and student, coach and athlete, or daddy and son, complete with costumes, script, and plot, like when "Dad" discovers "son" jerking off in the garage and paddles him for it.

A "straight" paddling scene, i.e., one in which there is no role-playing, involves a pretty simple methodology. With butt of the bottom and arm of the top in a reasonable position, start with easy strokes, until the ass is warm, then proceed with heavier whacks, more brutal instruments, and faster, stronger swings.

There are a great number of variations here: position, tool, clothing, force and speed of swing, accompanying verbiage, restraint, and degree of intimacy.

I prefer to spank naked butt while I’m naked as well, since my primary motivation for spanking is to heat up an ass so I can fuck it. I enjoy kneeling on a bed, the boy butt up over my lap, my arm encircling him and holding his genitals. This makes him relatively immobile while I spank him. I’ll begin with my bare hand but move to the use of an instrument fairly quickly.

I prefer not to use restraints so I don’t have to untie him when I’m done. Others like to include a fair amount of bondage, such as tying a bottom to padded horse, a sling, a workout bench, or a chair.

No matter what your fantasy, it’s more than likely that someone shares it with you. Get out of your closet and look, there’s more of you than you think.

Have a great week. You can leave me email at mrjackr@leathermail.com or visit my website at " http://www.LeatherViews.com ". Copyright 2001 by Jack Rinella, all rights reserved.

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Jack