Breath Play - Scene

copyright 1998 crave@webmistress.org

http://www.webmistress.org

I am one of those risk taking people who engage in unsafe BDSM activities, like breath play. I love breath play. Yes, I know it's dangerous. Yes, I know that the reactions and consequences are not as "controllable" or "predictable" as other forms of play that walk the edge of safety. But, that's why I love it! I love that primal fight for the basic need of air, that instinctual terror that cuts through all other sensations and becomes the primary need and motivating force to escape. The knowing that literally my access to life is being controlled by another. I have completely lost my free will and am under the power of her whim.

A few nights ago I was sitting on the couch, anxiously studying for some major exams I have this week. It wasn't going well and I put the books down and closed my eyes, just for a moment. I just wanted to take some time and try to relax and get my focus back. Just relax for a moment or two...

The next thing I knew, my head was yanked back by my ponytail and my scream stifled by a palm smashing across my mouth. I struggled and kicked and tried to turn around to face my attacker and get away.

"Sleeping! You have been such a brat to live with this week because of these exams and now I find you sleeping! You will certainly have to be punished for this." My attacker said. I gave up struggling at the sound of her voice and tried to quiet the excuses and the anger streaming through my head. Some days I'm a better submissive than others. When I'm highly stressed and trying to be in big time control of my life and environment, I am more of a bitch than a submissive. Thankfully I have someone who is only too happy to remind me of my place.

"If I take my hand away, so you promise to keep your mouth shut?" She asked. I nodded quickly. As soon as her hand was gone, I opened my mouth to take a deep breath to get ready to remind her of just what a big deal these exams were and how sleep is a good thing and...

None of this was said because as soon as my mouth opened, a big red ball gag was slammed in between my teeth and firmly buckled behind my head. I lost it. I yelled through the gag, got off the couch, stood in front of her and said all sorts of terrible things about inhumane treatment and not understanding anything about my life, at least until I noticed her shoulders shaking and the sexy smirk she had changing into a big old grin, then into complete doubled over laughter.

"If you could just see yourself, smarting off to me with the ball gag in your mouth. Little girl in torn up jeans and a t-shirt, her hair all a mess and a ball gag, attempting to make sense while yelling through a ball gag. When are you ever going to learn that I can do what I want with you, when I want with you?"

I was feeling really guilty at that point and rather shocked at myself for how I completely lost it. I was glad that most of my words had been distorted by the gag, but she certainly had been made aware that I was not pleased by her attentions. Umm... Whoops.

I fell to my knees and pressed my forehead against her feet. Trying to show her how crummy I felt and that I recognized her control over me.

"That's not going to help this time." She said, smacking me on the ass. Her tone turned deadly serious. "Get the fiberglass cane and bring it out here. NOW!"

I jumped to my feet and scurried off to get what she ordered. She's never just caned me without a warm-up, but it's been a long time since she used sensation for punishment either. As scared as I was, my nipples were rock hard and I could feel my labia swelling.

"What on Earth is taking you so long?!" She yelled down the hallway just as I was grabbing the cane. I scurried back into the living room and was about to walk over to her when she quietly said, "Down". I dropped to all fours, put the cane in my mouth and crawled over to her. Upon reaching her feet, I knelt up and put my hands up in what I hoped was a pleasing puppy position.

"Good doggy, but, too late. Get naked and bend over the couch."

Oh shit. I fumbled with my jeans, trying to undo the buttons quickly. Hate button fly jeans. She grabbed the thin black leather collar around my neck and twisted it slightly. My face immediately felt warm. "Better hurry up." She crooned and I tried to ignore the little black flecks impeding my vision. Finally the jeans were unbuttoned and she released the pressure on my neck. My nostrils flared as I sucked in air, trying to breath with my mouth around the ball gag.

"I don't have time for this." She muttered as I somehow nearly fell over trying to get my jeans off quickly. Before the 'snick' of her knife registered in my head, my t-shirt was cut off of my body. "Heh, got you to stop moving quickly that time." She laughed before shoving my body over the arm of the couch and into the pile of books on the cushions.

"What were you supposed to be studying?" she asked, flipping through the books with one hand, while pinching my inner thighs with the other.

"Ego Psych" I spit through the gag and pointed at the book on Psychodynamic theory.

"Read, out loud" she commanded and I sighed, knowing just how impossible this was going to be.

Her fingers, scraping against the tender soft skin of my thighs, raking against my labia, pulling on my piercings, left me shuddering both in want and in pain. I tried to stay focused on the book, but kept reading the same sentence over and over again. "Anna Freud and Melanie Klien disagreed and so developed the split between the Ego Psychology and Object Relations.

Her hand smacking down on my ass shoved me forward about 8" and I lost my place as I rocked back and forth to meet her blows. I screamed into the gag "Freud's Structural Period was from 1923 until 1939 and drive theory helped pave the way for Klien's aggressive instinct theory!" It was hard to breathe, talk, hang nearly upside down and feel the blows raining down on my flaming hot ass. I tried to stay present and read and breathe.

I heard the cane before I felt it hit my ass and I tensed my muscles. Bad move. A moment of quiet before searing white fire lanced the top of my ass, choking off my futile mumblings about Winnicott's Good Enough Breast. In rapid succession, barely giving me time to process the feeling or catch my breath, the cane whistled through the air, laying one stripe just below the other until she reached my knees. I couldn't stand still anymore, but I couldn't move either. I just laid there and shuddered, fighting the gag, fighting the instinct to crumple up and hide.

Then the slap came. Directly across my welted ass came the hard smack of her hand. "Wake up! Think you can just lay there and sleep? I don't hear you reading!" Tears that had been hidden came pouring out at that point and soaked the page in front of me. I started to try to read, but the page was blurred and snot was dripping from my nose and now I really couldn't breath.

She hauled me up from the couch, partly by my hair, partly from a strong arm across my chest. She held me to her for a brief moment, before holding up a tissue and ordering me to blow. Feeling like a 2 year old, I blew and hiccupped and then started to giggle a bit hysterically.

"And just what are you laughing about, Ms. I don't care that I just blew snot all over my Mistress's hand?" She said pushing my sore ass onto the cushions of the couch and spreading my legs wide.

I just giggled more, kinda sorta apologizing, but just lost in the endorphins of the moment. I was brought back to reality by the smack of her palm against my labia and the bite of her teeth on my nipple. "What were you saying about Good Breasts?" brought a fresh set of giggles from me and I laid my head back on the back of the couch and tried to calm myself down.

Her probing fingers soon found just how wet I was and it wasn't long before she had entered me and was fucking me very slowly, achingly slowly. With my head back, it was a bit more difficult to breath around the gag, but nothing that I was all that worried about. The feelings in my cunt were so delicious and the rough fabric under my ass was pulling at the welts and I felt myself slowly start to slip away from my body and just dive into the sensations.

My nose was blocked and I couldn't breathe through it. My eyes flew open and stared into hers as she leaned over me. Her fingers an incessant rhythm in my cunt, matching the beating of my heart that I could hear clearly in my ears. She let go of my nose and twisted the collar around my neck, hard. My neck and face felt prickly and hot and I panted around the gag. I felt a rush of wet spurt from my cunt and she shoved all her fingers in me, fucking me hard against the couch, her thumb sliding over my clit. I started to panic, to fight for breath to resist the darkness that was creeping in from the corners of my vision. Wondering how long she was going to let this go, wondering when she'd stop, wondering if this had gone too far, trying to suck through the gag to get air.

Just when I knew I was going to have to signal her to stop, she let go of the collar and plucked the gag from my mouth. I inhaled violently and came instantly, just about crushing her hand. I heard her laughing at my moaning inhales as the cool air rushed down to relieve my burning lungs.

She climbed up onto the couch next to me and pulled me onto her lap, holding me like a child, my face pressed into her breasts. "There's a good girl. See how much better things are when you listen and obey?"

I nodded, snuffled a bit and half-heartedly wondered what the consequences would be of biting her nipple. I decided against the idea and instead kissed her gently on the lips and thanked her for being so wonderful. She certainly does have a way of reminding me what is important in my life. :>