EDGE PLAY

(For the purposes of this article I will assume that your submissive is NEW to the BDSM lifestyle and that discussions with you have identified base limits which you have used as boundaries in all encounters, conversations and play to this point!)

BDSM unlike virtually any other lifestyle offers the potential to extend the experiences of the individual into new realms and areas that they have never had the opportunity to explore before. In the beginning everything is a challenge. From the action of merely speaking an honorific title such as Mistress/Master to learning the basic responses, positions and commands that you desire for them to utilize when with you. These basic foundations are crucial to building the type of relationship that grows, evolves and flourishes. But, at some point your submissive gets it! They conquer that phase of the learning process and your exchange together in 'scene' may be reaching a plateau.

You have spent considerable time in conversation with your submissive about 'their perceived limits!' I say it this way on purpose. In any relationship limits are guessed at. In a new sub they are to some extent completely unknown. A person cannot know what they like or dislike if they have never had any occasion to experience them. There are some absolutes - these (in general may be children and animals - scat is also Very often a firm taboo!) Beyond these absolute limits there is a huge playing field.

EDGE PLAY is the action of offering new challenges to the Edges of play you and your submissive are already familiar with. Every physical challenge is equally mentally challenging as it is asking your submissive to reach beyond where they think they can . . . for you . . . for them! It may be as simple as progressing from one set of clamps to another . . . from spanking to the introduction of the crop. It may be as complex as sensory deprivation and trust play.

When is it time? First it is crucial that you have a strong established trust! Second, you must have a pretty good working knowledge as to your sub's mindset, their attitude, moods, desires. Explore things conversationally at first. Express thoughts about say (a photo you have seen and shared), a scene you saw in a movie or read about . . . see what makes your sub nervously excited. This is called 'planting a seed'. It forewarns your sub of where you are thinking. It allows them to talk to you in advance and prepare mentally and fantasize! This is important when your relationship is fairly young. It is fragile. Trust is so very important that you cannot thrust something on them 'in scene' that they might consider a violation of their limits. Out of scene later such a transgression may destroy your relationship and all of your hopes and dreams . . .

To me, the peak of EDGE PLAY is within the mind itself. It is to take the submissive further, to trust deeper, fly higher than they have ever believed possible. For each submissive the tools used to assist them are different, it is a truth that every one is different and unique. Discovering their personal triggers and using them is perhaps the greatest challenge and joy a dominant can experience!