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A quick how to on Ass Play

By Blush

When involving the thing we sit on in BDSM, ass play can be stimulating and exciting as well as humiliating. Here are a few basics that one should keep note of before sticking things up there.

To make all this easier, relax, relax, relax. Did I mention relax? That tenseness you feel is a muscle and like any other is more easily manipulated while relaxed. Anything pushed into a too tense area is likely to hurt. I mentioned relax right? Second, if you think you’re sticking something Godzilla-size into that place down there you will probably meet some searing pain. Try using a well-lubed finger before you go on to more advanced toys. The sphincter muscle is expandable, yes really. When moving on to toys take your time. Plugs more often then not come in three sizes, as it says in the book "Screw the Roses Send me the Thorns," by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon the sizes are "too small, too big and almost right." If you’re new to ass play start with the smaller size. Start slowly. If it hurts like hell you’re going too fast or trying too large of a toy. How slowly? Slower than that. Fortunately, your ass isn’t going anyplace so you have plenty of time to practice. Go slow, for some pushing in the plug in until you’re on the edge of painful stretching and then backing it off a bit works. Re-lube as necessary (which is often). One way to think of this is that stretching your sphincter muscle is not that different from stretching your legs or back muscles before exercise (although you do look funnier doing it). Having said that, I think you just explore and should use whatever technique works well for you.

Butt plugs come in all shapes and sizes, priced usually around ten dollars. You can find them under the dildo section at the Iron Rose store. Try placing a well-lubed condom over your plug, this will also help keep your toys clean (and, if you plan to share your toys, will be safer).

There are lots of other aspects of ass-play beyond fingers, toys and the occasional stray penis. If you’re into S&M, we think it’s safer not to use the ass in ways that are painful until you’re experienced with the basics. We’ll leave enemas, fisting and career opportunities in picking up traffic cones for another article.

A few safety notes: never force anything into your ass, especially if you feel a sharp, searing pain: it’s possible to tear your sphincter muscle and/or anus, which requires medical attention and takes a long while to heal. Also, be careful of fingernails and anything else sharp; if you’re unwilling to trim your nails, wearing two latex gloves can help cover the sharp edges. And remember, ass-play often involves small amounts of blood (even if you can’t see it) and is the easiest way to transmit HIV, so be AIDS-safe.