Infantilism

Article on Infantilism with a strong focus on making the differentiation from pedophilia.

By Mommy Katt of The Dark Nursery

Infantilism is sometimes viewed controversially in part because many people honestly, yet mistakenly, make a connection with pedophilia, because it involves the 'concept' of child/baby or child-likeness / baby-likeness.

Nothing could be farther from the truth, as someone with a background in psychology, I assure you of this. I'll try and outline why this is the case, in as clear and logical way as possible, for people who wish to try and gain a better understanding. Since there is such a big mistaken link to pedophilia, I'd like to get into some detail about why there really is -no- connection here In any way shape or form, so bear with me.

Perhaps the simplest way to explain it is that the sick people who abuse children sexually, pedophiles, are acting out in a sexually aggressive, controlling, dominating fashion, and are attracted to children as their victims because they are easy to over power, they want to dominate, want to control, want to dis-empower others and gain power over. When a pedophile seeks out victims, they often pick children who are extra-vulnerable children, children that already have been abused, children with low self-esteem, children that have been psychologically damaged. This is why classically a child that is sexually abused, usually faces the horror of multiple abusers in their childhood.

Infantilists, those who engage in age play, are doing ~exactly the opposite~

They want to submit, they want to be small, powerless, child-like, infantile, they want all power and responsibility removed from them. They don't want to hurt or molest or sexualize children, they want to regress to a childlike emotional and mental state of ultimate submission and vulnerability, of innocence. Why does this process get sexualized? I'm not entirely sure, and it doesn't for all infantilists and age players, some people who regress do not engage in sexual activity when regressed, do not find it arousing, and don't connect sexual feelings to it. Many however, do. These are sexually submissive individuals in which regression connects them to the very beginnings of the sexual stirrings that happened within them when they were infants or children. Like all the various sexual orientations, alternative sexual 'wiring' we come with, paraphilia's, fetishes, etc, etc, labels galore, these leanings are pretty hard wired, they are not 'choices', and they are not things people can generally 'change' ~ how they choose to act on their desires and in some cases, such as this, their core identities, can vary.

Because the underlying power dynamic in Infantilism is one of submission, rather than of domination - as would be found in pedophilia, it's opposite, often Infantilists and those interested in role play age play as adult kids are also interested in BDSM and almost always identify as submissives/bottoms.

On another note, do -not- assume then that individuals who are top, dominant, into BDSM, and who play at Daddy or Mommy to adult babies, or adult kids or adult teens, do -not- assume, that these people are pedophiles, redirecting their interests towards adults. These are individuals who are interested in the domination of individuals, consenting adult individuals, with which they can dominate them through regressive disciplines and actions. You can't regress a child or infant, they are already regressed. Just as people in the BDSM scene who keep human 'dogs' or human 'ponies' these people are not people into bestiality, they are people who enjoy the process of making others submit by undergoing a transformation process. Forced Feminization, Regression, dog collars, leashes and bowls, harnesses and stables, are about symbolically dominating the submissive. Most Adult Babies, and age-players, cannot 'pass' for actual children, which makes them pretty unappealing prey for a pedophile trying to sublimate their inappropriate desires. Classically, pedophiles would -not- seek out a consensual age play arrangement, they don't want consent! Also, they would not want to associate themselves with the high profile BDSM community. Instead, a pedophile trying to sublimate inappropriate desires would be much more likely to go for a 'mainstream' relationship with an emotionally immature individual who is small in stature, vulnerable, has a history of abuse, who has childlike characteristics in personality and appearance. Petite young looking women and men that are -just- of legal age, and look young for their age, that are basically emotionally vulnerable and will allow themselves to bullied and abused. That is of course, if the pedophile isn't going after his preferred targets of innocent children. Most Infantilists and people involved in age-play actively, have had quite the journey into exploring themselves and their interests in order to decide to build a relationship around it, to the degree that it would require a certain amount of emotional maturity and self empowerment and stability to come to terms with, accept, and then act on to create a consensual relationship built around the infantilism and age play - the opposite profile of the type of adult a pedophile would sublimate to.

I personally am of the strong belief, that it is better by far, to accept your orientations, sexually, gender identity, fetish, paraphilia, etc, and find positive ways to integrate it appropriately into your life in such a way to enjoy it and embrace it. Than to feel guilt, agony, anguish, struggle and relentless negative obsession about the fact that you are the way you are, and try to repress it. What that actually looks like in terms of what people do, is going to vary. Many people who are Infantilists, or into age play, truly feel their identity is better represented by the age they feel regressed to. Just as transgendered individuals feel they are more truly the opposite of the bio-gender they were assigned, some of those involved with Infantilism and age play, feel they are transgenerational. In fact, many of them are both transgendered and transgenerational. Others, may not have this degree of regression that is so pervasive as to encompass their entire sense of personal identity, some may have this partially, or may only have related fetishes to the state of regression - Diaper Fetish is a particulalry common one, others often include, bed wetting, water sports, scat play, thumb sucking, pacifiers, dolls, plushies and teddy bears... whatever you can imagine being a strong symbolic image of 'baby-hood' or childhood may become a sexualized fetish object. Diversity, is nature's gift.

For those who are threatened, repulsed, angered, or afraid, or otherwise upset by the concept of Infantilism and Age Play, I would ask you, to ask yourself - why? It may be because you've had some misconceptions, which hopefully now have been cleared. It may also be because the whole process of regression is an incredibly powerful and intense topic, I think one that stirs heavy emotions, positive or negative, in those who explore the possibilities. Infancy and childhood is the foundation of our lives, when we are most vulnerable and tender, and anything associated with that time in our lives becomes ~big~ It was when our very sense of self developed and formed. Everyone has childhood 'issues' has emotionally intense connections to their beginnings. The time we moved from innocence into awareness. It's a big issue. Educate yourself, most importantly, educate yourself from the inside out. Look to your own past, your own inner child, your own desires and longings, fears and repulsions.

Accept yourself, and try, to accept others, we are who we are.

If you are curious about my explorations into Infantilism and Age Play, and what that actually looks like by all means, you can visit my site, The Dark Nursery, like my other sites, it is primarily about exploration, celebration, and -enjoyment- of ones orientation/fetish/paraphilia, through fetish photography. I think one of the best ways to learn, is the one we come with innately - play. Children learn through the process we call 'play' - a wonderful concept that mixes engaging in activities, exploring, and enjoying the process. So this site is more of an 'adult entertainment' site than an educational one in a traditional sense, because ultimately, I think we can learn more through the 'doing' the enjoyable explorative play, than by the analysis of things.

I still dream of owning property one day, with a big BDSM/Alternative Lifestyle Estate/Resort on it, where there will most certainly be one day a big real life nursery, where Adult Babies, and Adult Children, can come and get away, and just be.

We all need space in our lives, physical, emotional, spiritual, in which we can simply be, who we are.

Leila Raven (Mistress Mommy Katt)

Photo : Giving 'rebirth' to my adult baby girl jOni, who in her alternate life, lives as a retired politically and socially active male. She considers herself 'two spirited' and is both transgendered and transgenerational.

Replies: 4 comments

Well Mommy Katt this is a great explanation of the AB world it does me great pride being the Adult Baby that I am to see such a great explanation on the AB community. I would love to see You get that resort you were mentioning in this artile and if I am able to help out please don't hesitate to contact me via email. Posted by Chucky @ 08/09/2003 08:37 PM PST

Lela, I hope you dont mind but I copied and pasted your article on the Gourmet Connection Incontinence and Bedwetting Adults message board, there has been quite a controversy on that board lately in connection with ABDL. I thought it might do some of the readers good to read your article.God Bless. Leon Posted by Leon @ 07/08/2003 06:06 AM PST

Dear Leila Raven,
Thank you so much for your explanation on infantilism from a psychological perspective. Well done! You could not have explained role play between concenting adults any better than what you have done. Also, from reading your notes, I feel such a sense of release, that after all, I'm a normal adult female with a fetish, common to so many people all around the globe. Let's do celebrate your web-site and Cheers! Posted by BabyCakeS @ 07/05/2003 04:32 AM PST

Hello I thought this to be one of the better explanations on adult babies and thank you for that. Mary Beth Sanford

About the Author

Katt (Mistress Katt, Mommy Katt, Leila Raven) is one of the duo of Wolfe and Katt who have co-created Erotimania. Involved in the adult entertainment and fetish photography since 2000, and involved actively in the BDSM community since 1993.  Katt also has an MA in counselling psychology, with a special interest in human sexuality. She has made guest appearances on the HBO Real Sex Series, on their segment on Infantilism and Adult Babies, as well as involvement with a number of other related projects.

Some thumbs of photos from my own play experiences with a number of Adult Babies