alt.sex.fetish.diapers FAQ

alt.sex.fetish.diapers FAQ

Much thanks for the countless people who have contributed so far, and premature thanks for those who will help in the future. Additions, corrections, and modifications to asfd-faq@Bbif.Vaporware.Org

Permission is given to distribute this FAQ in any form in its entirety, as long as it is not for profit (except to cover transmission, mailing, or printing costs). It was produced by the whole community and should be available to the whole community.

Table of Contents

General Info

• What is the purpose of this group (as we understand it at this moment)?

• What is Infantilism?

• Does this have anything to do with minors?

• I'm a new baby on the net; how do I get around?

• I'm also incontinent, are there incontinent people here too?

More on Infantilism

• What is the DPF?

• What is VBV?

• What is the Midwest Relay?

• Are there any books on infantilism?

• Are there any magazines that deal with this interest?

• Weren't there a few talk show episodes that dealt with Infantilism?

• Are there any movies with passing infantilist content?

• Are these interests "normal?"

• What if I really really want to eliminate these interests?

• I find most disposable diapers available today to be inadequate; what can I do?

Tips and Hints

• So, what's this marvelous modified diaper that I keep hearing people talk about?

• Are there adult diaper services, just like there are baby diaper services?

• I've never used a flat cloth diaper before; how do I fold it?

General Info

What is the purpose of this group (as we understand it at this moment)?

It is a forum for people with interests in infantilism, diapers, age-play, and related activities. The partners of people with these interests are also welcomed wholeheartedly.

Ideally this group could be a valuable support structure for people to get in touch with their feelings and interests, so they don't feel so alienated just because they have an interest that hasn't been covered by previous Usenet groups. Personally I found it very valuable to see that I wasn't alone, and to meet other people who have found ways to cope and still carry on a "normal" life.

Hopefully we can develop some on-line resources that people can draw upon to enrich their play, like a list of places to get products and reviews of them -- I believe that this could be particularly useful for people new to the scene -- not to mention the ever-growing archive of stories.

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What is Infantilism?

Infantilism is the derivation of sexual pleasure from acting or being treated like a baby. Infantilists usually enjoy one or more of the following:

• Wearing diapers

• Using diapers for their intended purposes

• Wearing or using adult-sized baby clothes, bibs, pacifiers, baby bottles, etc.

• Acting and being treated like a baby (being bottle- or spoon-fed, having diapers changed, etc.) by a lover within the context of a role-playing scene

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Does this have anything to do with minors?

I would like to make the statement from the beginning that infantilism does not involve minors in any way, shape, or form whatsoever. The term 'Infantilism' may suggest to some that minors may be involved. That is just not the case.

Any discussion of activities involving minors is completely and totally unacceptable for this news group. We are here to celebrate childhood, not to spoil it and make it a living hell.

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I'm a new baby on the net; how do I get around?

There are many helpful introductions to the net and how to get around the net in news.announce.newusers, news.newusers.questions, and news.answers. Also, your system administrator can be very helpful in instructing you on how to use facilities like anonymous FTP, news, and e-mail on your local system. Finally, if you already know how to use anonymous FTP, there is a wealth of information about the net on RTFM.MIT.EDU. (or use the URL ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/)

A lot of these things can be very specific to your local installation, and other people on this newsgroup may not know how to help you other than to point you to these resources.

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I'm also incontinent, are there incontinent people here too?

There are plenty of people on this newsgroup who are also incontinent for one reason or another. Some have learned to make the best of a bad situation and use this group to have fun, while others just use it as a source of new suppliers. Everyone is welcome. There are also some other resources for people with these problems:

Help for Incontinent People
P.O. Box 544
Union, South Carolina 29379

The Simon Foundation for Continence
P.O. Box 835
Wilmette, Illinois 60091
Tel: 1-800-23-SIMON

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More on Infantilism

What is the DPF?

This is yet another Three Letter Acronym (TLA), which stands for Diaper Pail Friends (formerly Diaper Pail Fraternity). They are an organization based in California dedicated to helping infantilists, diaper fetishists, and people with other related interests.

They also sell lots of interesting items, hence they are listed in the a.s.f.d source list. There is also a short introduction to the DPF written by Billy lying around on-line somewhere. The DPF is run by Tommy, who has an account on Compuserve. If you wish to write directly to him, his account is 76146,2734 on Compuserve. To send mail to him from Internet send it to 76146.2734@Compuserve.com or babytom@well.com.

Diaper Pail Friends (DPF)
38 Miller Ave., Suite 127
Mill Valley, CA 94941
Phone: 415-381-9105

For people with access to Web browsers and an interest in learning more about the club DPF

[The DPF in California is not affiliated with #DPF the IRC channel.]

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What is VBV?

VBV is a Danish organization for infantilists/diaper fetishists. They publish a newsletter in Danish and arrange meetings in Denmark. VBV is run by Nicolai Lang, who you can mail at lai@login.dknet.dk. If you come by Denmark, please feel free to contact him to arrange a visit. E-mail him for his private phone number.

Voksne Babyers Verden,
Glentehusene 35
2620 Albertslund
Denmark
Phone +45 / 43 62 81 00 (Tuesday & Thursday 8pm - 11pm CET)
Fax +45 / 43 62 81 00

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What is the Midwest Relay?

The Midwest Relay was a not-for-profit correspondence club for gay/bisexual adult babies living in the US, Canada, or Puerto Rico.

Midwest Relay has been discontinued due to lack of participation. (1995-09-01)

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Are there any books on infantilism?

Some works by Dr. John Money make mention of infantilism, like "Lovemaps" and "Venuses Penises." There are also two papers on infantilism available from the DPF.

"Men in Love" by Nancy Friday contains a section on diaper and related fetishes and possible explanations.

Another useful book is "Psychosexual Infantilism" by Wilheim Stekel. You would probably be able to find it in the psychiatry section of a well-stocked university library. (I haven't found it because my library is singularly awful.)

Finally, there is a book worth reading called "Different Loving." It contains a chapter on age play in general, including a section devoted to infantilism. Different Loving also has a web site now, which is listed in the web resources section of this FAQ.

Different Loving:
An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission.
Brame, Gloria G., William D. Brame, and Jon Jacobs.
New York: Villard Books (Random House), 1993, ISBN 0-679-40873-8.

There are a few stories that make passing mentions of bed-wetting and other topics that some people here find interesting:

Orwell. "Such, Such Were the Joys." "The Well-Tempered Schoolboy"
Autobiographical tales of his adventures at boarding school.

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Are there any magazines that deal with this interest?

The resource list also features magazines that might interest the reader. They are in a separate section of the resource list.

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Weren't there a few talk show episodes that dealt with Infantilism?

There were a number of talk show hosts that had episodes dealing with infantilism. I know that both Donahue and Jerry Springer did such shows. All of them are available for purchase from DPF.

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Are there any movies with passing infantilist content?

Here's a short list of movies people have mentioned previously:

Auvoir Les Enfants
The 12-year-old who is the central figure of the movie is a bed-wetter. He awakens in the dormitory one night surrounded by thirty or forty other beds and realizes he has wet. He tries to clean up his mess and, as I recall, the other boys wake up. At another time he talks about his "problem" with a friend. Mostly, the movie is about children growing up during World War II.

The Baby
Supposedly about an adult man kept as a baby by his mother. Although no one can seem to find this film.

Brimstone and Treacle
A story about a teenage girl that is left an incontinent vegetable after an accident.

Come Next Spring
No further description.

The Devil's Playground (Australian film 1976)
Reported to be a false lead. Didn't want to delete it outright, otherwise people would wonder.

The Hideaways
The child actor (aged maybe nine) runs across a field. Waiting for the shot he has wet his pants. The director put it in either thinking that no one would notice or for the mischief of it.

The Loneliest Runner (made for TV movie)
Bed-wetting. I hear the plot of the movie isn't very nice, and the mother is quite mean to the child, so, I'd personally skip over this one.

You Can't Do That On Television (a TV series)
On one particular episode, little Amius and an older boy are talking about babysitters. The older boy says, "It would be easy to baby-sit a kid like you. At least I wouldn't have to change diapers!" Amius, arguably the cutest ten year old on television at the time, replies, "Well, Er. Uh..."

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Are these interests "normal?"

Infantilism and diaper fetishism fall into a category of phenomena knows as paraphilias. In the view of modern psychotherapists most paraphilias are completely harmless and bring many people great inner happiness. Paraphilias can almost always be made manageable, so that one can carry on a normal life.

The greatest source of problems with paraphilias is the guilt that people feel in indulging in their interests. This can be emotionally damaging and can make people very unhappy. To paraphrase John Money, you either have to give up the guilt or give up the paraphilia.

The principle of a psychotherapist molding a patient into an ideal person is a very outmoded idea. If you find this happening to you it is often time to find a second opinion.

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What if I really really want to eliminate these interests?

If you do decide that you do not want to wear diapers or be an infantilist, but you do have these urges that you would like to go away, there are ways of helping you to achieve this. This is often a very difficult road, which shouldn't be taken lightly.

One thing often to consider is how much of your personality is tied up in these interests. Personally I have noticed that I would be a completely different person if I was not interested in infantilism. Are you willing to become someone completely different to give up these urges?

Finally the treatment often involves behavior modification therapy, which can be quite unpleasant. This process can also require the administration of drugs which will temporarily reduce your sex drive to help in the process. An infrequent side effect of this can be the permanent reduction of sex drive.

This is my current understanding of the treatment options, which may be just as outdated and Victorian as the view some people have of infantilism in the first place.

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I find most disposable diapers available today to be inadequate; what can I do?

First off, you can try some of the other places in the resource list to see if their diapers are more adequate. Secondly, you can try using diaper boosters, which are little inserts that act just like stuffers. Thirdly, you can try using stuffers by wearing multiple diapers and poking holes in the waterproof layer of the inner diapers.

Finally, you can call up your favorite diaper company and tell them that they make woefully inadequate diapers. The only way they are going to make better ones is if people tell them what they make is bad. However, remember the fact that nothing is leak-proof and babies really do need changing often.

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Tips and Hints

So, what's this marvelous modified diaper that I keep hearing people talk about?

Well, someone who goes by the nickname of "Toddler" on IRC has a modified diaper "recipe" that is unsurpassed in my book. They are extremely bulky, but hold in just about anything in my opinion.

Recipe for Toddler's Wonder Diapers (compliments of Toddler):

You need Ultra Attends Plus adult diapers and Scott Promise Pads, Overnight Weight. Also a hot melt glue gun, a razor knife, a pair of scissors, and a roll of Contact paper.

Cut the Contact paper across its width into 4-inch-wide strips. The Contact paper is, btw, available in a number of attractive prints as well as plain white for wimps :)

Apply the contact paper to the front of the Attends as a taping panel. This will prevent the all-too-common Attends "Tape Popping" (truly an annoying phenomenon). Set the "empanelled" Attends to one side.

With the scissors strip away most of the excess material in the crotch of a Scott Promise pad. Then, with the razor knife, cut a rectangular panel out of the back of the pad, being careful not to disturb the fill excessively. Fold the rear wings of the pad into a V shape to allow the pad to fit nicely inside the Attends, and glue the wings down.

Open the Attends up and lay the Promise pad, soft side up, inside the diaper. Fold back the front of the pad and glue around the remaining waterproof backing and affix it to the front of the attends. Do the same with the middle and the back. The point is to create a complete waterproof seal around the glued perimeter; this makes the resulting combination more effective.

At this point you are done. It works with both Medium and Large Attends, and might work with the Small Attends although you would probably have to use a smaller pad to make it fit right.

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Are there adult diaper services, just like there are baby diaper services?

There sure are! Many places that offer baby diapers also have adult sizes. So, if you call around a little you can pay to have clean cloth diapers delivered to your home. Now, isn't that convenience? (Especially if you don't have to change them yourself.)

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I've never used a flat cloth diaper before; how do I fold it?

Assuming that you have a flat pre-fold type of diaper, the usual way of folding them would be to fold the first 1/3 of the diaper over the center panel and then fold that 1/3 back over itself. Do the same with the other side. It should look like this.

-------\ /-------
/--------/ \--------\
\-----------------------------/
View looking at the top of the diaper from the ends

You can also insert one or more baby sized pre-folds in the center to make them more absorbent and thicker. To me this makes them even more babyish.

After they are folded this way, just lie down on them and pull the front up over your tummy and gently pull the corners from the front and back together and pin them comfortably at the waist. Be sure to put on a good pair of protective pants and enjoy wetting in your new diapers just like a Baby!

( compliments of ericm@panix.com)