Qualities of a Good Mistress
by "K"

Here are some qualities I think are found in a good Mistress. As always, YMMV.

1. Control
   Above all, a good Mistress is always in control of herself. She does not rant or rave, and never punishes when angry. On the rare times that temper overwhelms her, she walks away until she regains balance. After all, how can a Domme control her sub if she can't control herself?
2. Creative
   A good Dominant puts time, energy and creativity in her scenes. She is not satisfied playing the same games over and over, and goes the extra length to come up with new and different ideas.
3. Human
   The best Mistress knows she is human. She realizes she will make mistakes, and is quick to apologize when she does. She knows she won't be thought of as any less "Domly" because of an apology. On the flip side, she realizes that others will make mistakes also, and even though she may punish for the mistake, she accepts an apology graciously and puts the event in the past.
4. Compassion
   A good Mistress is compassionate. She cares about her sub(s), friends and family. She takes time to listen and respond to the needs of others. She isn't selfish and doesn't have the illusion that the world revolves around her.
5. Technique
   A good Domme works on her play technique. She knows how to use her toys and practices frequently. She reads the latest books and talks to others in the scene. An effective Mistress tests her toys on herself before she uses them on her sub.
6. Consistent
   The best Femdomme is consistent in her instructions and requests. She doesn't give her sub conflicting commands. She delivers equal punishment for equal offenses, and equal rewards when pleased. She is firm in her direction and does not waiver when faced with a difficult situation.
7. Thorough
   An effective Dominant is thorough. She directs a scene from start to finish to better allow her sub to achieve subspace. She takes away all distractions and decisions... telling her sub what position she desires, what needs she wants fufilled, and how this is best accomplished.
8. Respect
   A good Mistress respects herself and others. She strives to always project herself in the best possible light, and expects the same from her submissive(s). She is well-groomed, and takes pride in her looks. She takes good care of her toys and equipment.
9. Safety
   A Domme worth playing with is safe. She is aware of the damage she can cause a submissive and does her best to prevent harm. She knows first-aid and attends classes periodically to keep herself updated.
10. Communication
    A good Domme is an effective communicator. She says what she means, and means what she says. She is specific and chooses her words carefully. She doesn't rant, nag or whine because she knows this shows a lack of control. She states instructions in a clear, easy-to-understand manner.

K, da switch

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These files are presented for general information only and are not meant to be a "how-to" guide.
As with anything, what works for someone else may or may not work for you.
Use common sense when exploring new relationships of any type.