That’s MS Bitch To You

Questions to Ask Before Sceneing For The First Time

By Norische

When you make arrangements to meet someone for the first time there are a lot of things to take into consideration. Safety should be the first things on your list. Meeting a stranger for the first time can be unpredictable, and within this lifestyle we much be extra careful. Players, Abusers, Predators and Control Freaks are out there so don’t make the mistake of not playing it safe.

Normally when you meet someone you have talked with them or written to them for a while. Hopefully you will be able to fill most of the information out with just the information you have shared in your conversations, if not don’t be afraid to ask.

As a submissive/slave you may not feel appropriate asking for information about a Dom/Domme but in all reality you have every right to ask questions, but then again they have the right to not answer the questions too. If you feel that the person is being evasive or gets too upset with you asking the questions perhaps caution should be exercised and you should get to know the person a little more before meeting with them on a one on one basis.

Remember that this list is meant to be personalized so choose the questions that you feel are relevant as they apply to you and your prospective partner.

Real Name:
Address:
Phone Number:
Place of Employment:
Work Number:
Car Make, Model, Year, and Color:
Currently involved with someone:

If yes: does this person know about outside activities:

If yes: does this person approve of outside activities:

If yes: Can I speak with this person:
Is a safe call decided on?

If yes have they been provided with a name, phone number of meeting place and times

If yes have they been given a good description of the person you are meeting

If yes has a word for "help me" been decided

If yes has a word for "everything is fine" been decided

If yes has a plan of action been decided

If yes have you set a specific time in which to call
Will play be expected?

If yes what types of play

If yes what limits have been set
What types of play are you willing to participate in?
Will sexual contact be permitted?

If yes will condoms be used?

If yes what is their sexual orientation?

If yes has Sexually Transmitted Diseases including HIV/AIDS been discussed?
Have you exchanged play lists?
Do they consider themselves a Master/Mistress, Dom/Domme, Top or Switch?
Will pain play be expected?
Has health been discussed?

If yes are there any health concerns?

If yes are there any specific medical conditions to be worried about?

If yes have medications been discussed?
How much experience does this person have?
Do they belong to any groups in the area?
Are they open to talking about their lives and experiences outside the lifestyle?
Are they willing to provide answers to questions?
Do they want a relationship or just a play partner?
Do they have any prior Doms or subs?
How do they handle punishment?
What do they consider abusive, or a predator?
What do they consider consent?
What do they consider safe?
What is their marital status?

Remember when making arrangements to meet someone for the first time you should choose a place that you are familiar with if possible.

Never meet someone in your home or in a motel room for the first time; set the meeting up in a restaurant or other public area.

Make sure you have a cell phone or know where you can call for help, communication with others can be your lifeline out of trouble.

If you are nervous about meeting the person, have a friend come and sit a table or two away, if things go right you won't need them, but if things turn sour a safety net is always a good idea.

Never drink alcohol when you meet the person for the first time, alcohol may impair your judgment.

Bring a little extra cash just incase there is a problem, being stranded is not fun.

If you are traveling any distance, get a motel room, even if he/she offers to let you spend the night at their place.

I hope that this list is used wisely, it is meant to be used as a tool, but the best tool you have is your own mind. If things don’t feel right then go with your instinct and politely back out. If you are frightened, first make your safe call and tell someone that you are frightened and you are coming home, then get out of there as soon as you can, never doubt yourself, it may mean your safety... maybe your life.