Mistakes New Folks Make

By WALT

Like just about everything else in life, experience with BDSM and D/s also has a learning curve. Here are a few common mistakes that many new people make:

1. Going too fast. Sometimes the excitement that comes with the discovery of real time BDSM takes hold and you eagerly do too much too soon. Is this your first spanking? Have you ever used that toy before? How well do you know your partner? It is far better to go too slow and yearn for more than to go to fast and do something that you really regret.
2. Just because someone calls themselves a Mistress or Master, Goddess or Lord, Queen or Baron, does NOT necessarily mean that they have the skills or talents to back it up. And, just because a person has a "title" does not mean that you need to submit to them.
3. There is no one RIGHT way. While there may be "good technique" and "bad technique," the "correctness" of this  action should be based solely on what the people involved in the scene have consented to.
4. Communication is very important. If you are new and have questions, find someone that you think will be able to give you a good answer. Better yet, get feedback from a few different people. No one in this community should feel like they are alone.
5. Learn about safe words and safe calls and read as many "how - to BDSM books" as you can before practicing BDSM in person. And use what you learn. Ignorance often has bad consequences, and that is very true in the world of BDSM and D/s.

   And, lastly but not leastly:

6. TRUST YOUR INTUITION.

If you have a bad feeling about meeting someone, playing with someone, engaging in a particular activity, or anything else, follow that gut feeling and do not do it. Often times our subconscious picks up on clues that get translated into that gut feeling. Again, it is far better to do too little, or nothing at all, and have a yearning for it than putting yourself into a potentially regrettable situation.

Please feel free to add any other comments that might be helpful to newcomers (and feel free to e mail me at Dom518RT@AOL.com if you have any other feedback).

Be well A/all,
WALT