Hanky Codes

Author Unknown

This is a basic list of Hanky Codes. Hanky Codes started in the late 60's as a way for gay men to pick someone up, without having to speak about sex (which was illegal back then), and was a very simple code. It started with neckties at the workplace (Wall Street to be exact) and then on a casual encounter it turned to hankies.

Enjoy

CATEGORY	COLOR	ON LEFT	ON RIGHT	SNIDE REMARK	EXAMPLE
REDS	RED	Fister	Fistee	Ow.
	DARK RED	2-handed fist fucker	2-handed fist fuckee	Double Ow.
	MAROON	Likes to Cut	Likes to Be Cut	And, of course, Triple Ow.
	BURGUNDY/WINE	Mud Top	Mud Bottom	The lengths they'll go to in order to not look like "Scat"
	LIGHT PINK	Dildo Fucker	Dildo Fuckee	God dild you.*
	DARK PINK	Tit Torturer	Tit Torturee	"Gipple? Laureola?"*
ORANGES	ORANGE	Anything top	Anything bottom	"Multipass!"*
	ORANGE (alternate)	Anything	Nothing	Thus making the orange hanky completely useless.*
	APRICOT	Chubby	Chaser	Apricot! It's a food! A round one! Laugh, damn you!
	CORAL	Wants toes sucked	Sucks toes	Remind me to kill whoever coined the term, "Shrimping".
	PEACH	Bear	Cub	Apricot? Peach? It's like a produce department in here.
	RUST	Cowboy	Horsie	Picture Woody Harrelson and Keifer Sutherland doing it "The Cowboy Way".
YELLOWS	YELLOW	Pisses	Drinks (or wears)	The pause that refreshes.
	LEMON	Catheterizes	Holds still	Q: Boxers or briefs? A: Depends.
	PALE YELLOW	Spitter	Spitoon	Insert your own "Getting oneself into hock" joke here.
	MUSTARD	Hung	Size Queen	Left must be accompanied by Certificate of Authenticity.
	GOLD	2 looking for 1	1 looking for 2	Anyone for an all-male "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
GREENS	KELLY GREEN	John	Hustler	Because not all hookers wear leopard skirts.
	HUNTER GREEN	Daddy	Son	"Grampa!" "Heidi!"
	OLIVE DRAB	Soldier	Looking for Military	"Olive drab!" "I know, Tarzan, but Popeye likes her anyway."
	LIME GREEN	Dines off tricks	Dinner table	You want fries with this?
	LIGHT GREEN	Verbal Abuse Top	Verbal Abuse Bottom	Verbal Abuse? How about "Conjunction Junction" on infinite repeat?
BLUES	LIGHT BLUE	Wants blow-job	Sucks cock	Find me anyone who wouldn't wear either, I dare you!
	ROBIN'S EGG BLUE	69er	no 69	(right) "Ew! 69! Icky poo!" I don't get it.
	ROBIN'S EGG BLUE (alt)	69 top	69 bottom	Understand this? E-mail me!
	MEDIUM BLUE	Officer Friendly	officer-friendly	Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come? Full stop. When I sing I use my lyrics.
	NAVY BLUE	Fucker	Fuckee	It's unfortunate, really. Anal sex isn't funny.
	AIR FORCE BLUE	Pilot/Flight Attendant	Airport Groupie	"Handle me like the baggage I am."
	TEAL BLUE	Cock & Ball Torturer	Squirmer	Damn! We were so close to a good "pussy-whipped" line.
PURPLES	MAGENTA	"Suck my pits"	Pitsucker	MMMM! Aluminum Zirconium Tetrachlorohydrex! (drool)*
	PURPLE	Piercer	Piercee	I've said it before, I'll say it again: Ow.
	MAUVE	Has a navel	Navel fetishist	Let's go back to my place and "contemplate" one another.
	FUSCHIA	Spanker	Spankee	"I don't wanna cry, I just wanna hanky-panky guyyyyyyy!"*
	LAVENDER	Looking for Drag Queen	Drag Queen	I feel sorry for drag queens trying to incorporate a hanky into their outfits.
EARTH TONES	BEIGE	Rimmer	Rimmee	"So we'll sit on our faces in all sorts of places and pla-a-a-a-ay..."*
	CREAM	Cums in scumbags	Sucks it out	"Can you say 'Scumbucket'? I knew you could."*
	TAN	Cigar Smoker	Likes cigars	Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. This is not one of those times.
	BROWN	Scat top	Scat bottom	How to separate the truly kinky from the punters.
NEUTRALS	BLACK	S/M top	S/M bottom	"Whip me, beat me, force me to reduce my sexuality into a one-foot square piece of fabric"
	CHARCOAL	Latex top	Latex bottom	Please keep in mind that 95% of all people (myself included) look like hell in latex.
	GREY	Bondage top	Bondage bottom	It's late, and the only thing that's coming to me right now is something about Wonder Woman's magic lasso. Let's call this one a miss.
	GREY (alternate)	Light S/M top	Light S/M bottom	"Just for the pain of it, Diet S/M"
	WHITE	Wants handjob	Strokes	I was going to say "Coxswain" for left, but no one would get it.*
MULTI- COLOR	LT BLUE W/WHITE STRIPE	Sailor	Shore Patrol (so to speak)	Insert your own "In the Navy" joke here.
	BLACK/WHITE CHECK	Safe Sex Top	Safe Sex Bottom	Or is that "NASCAR top"/"NASCAR bottom"
	RED/WHITE STRIPE	Shaver	Shavee	Insert your own "Barber Pole" joke here.
	RED/BLACK STRIPE	Furry Bear	Arctophile	"...called himself a bear when he was 23."
	BLACK/WHITE STRIPE	Likes black bottoms	Likes black tops	I'd love to say something funny here, but Archie Bunker never really covered this.
	BROWN W/WHITE STRIPE	Likes Latino bottoms	Likes Latino tops
	YELLOW W/ WHITE STRIPE	Like Asian bottoms	Like Asian tops
	LIGHT BLUE W/ WHITE DOTS	Likes White suckers	Likes to suck whites	Careful with these, I think one of them is also "Polka Top"/"Polka Bottom"
	LIGHT BLUE W/ BLACK DOTS	Likes black suckers	Likes to suck blacks
	LIGHT BLUE W/ BROWN DOTS	Likes Latino suckers	Likes to suck Latinos
	LIGHT BLUE W/ YELLOW DOTS	Likes Asian suckers	Likes to suck Asians
	WHITE W/ MULTI- COLOR DOTS	Hosting an orgy	Looking for an orgy	Well, it beats the hassle of invitations.
SPECIFIC FABRICS	BROWN LACE	Uncut	Likes uncut	Brown lace. And one would obtain this where?*
	BROWN SATIN	Cut	Likes cut	"Nights in Brown Satin"? I love that song.
	GREY FLANNEL	Actually owns a suit	Likes suits	Grey flannel! Suit! HA!*
	WHITE LACE	Likes white bottoms	Likes white tops	Actually, either side really means "Just mugged a bride"
	BLACK VELVET	has/takes videos	will "perform" for camera	I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. LaRue
	WHITE VELVET	Voyeur	Exhibitionist	Blue Velvet: "Looking for Mickey Rourke"/"IS Mickey Rourke"
	BROWN CORDUROY	Headmaster	Student	"If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding." Suddenly, that makes a lot more sense.
	TERRYCLOTH	Bathhouse top	Bathhouse Bottom	And we would flag this in a bar why?
PATTERNS	HOLSTEIN (COW)	Milker	Milkee	I'll spare you the "hole milk" pun I've been developing. You're welcome.
	RED/WHITE GINGHAM	Park sex top	Park sex bottom	Hey, you wanna look like Dorothy, go right ahead.
	PAISLEY	Wears boxers	Likes boxers	Lie-la-lie. [Boom] Lie-la-lie-lie. Lie-la-lie. Lie-la-lie. [Boom] Lie-la-lie-lie-lie-la-lie-lalalala-lie.*
	GREEN CAMOFLAGUE	Military (non-specific)	Civil "servant"	There's got to be someone out there with a thing for members of the Army Corps of Engineers. Well, this is YOUR hanky!
	BLACK/GREY CAMOFLAGUE	Urban Warrior (Cop, Fireman, EMT)	"City Support Services"	For the Fortrel Polyester fetishist within us all.
	LEOPARD	Has tattoos	Art critic	Clarification: Tattoos that don't come off with baby oil.
	HOUNDSTOOTH	Uses teeth	Like to be bitten	Oh, bite me!
	CONFEDERATE FLAG*	Fights to be top	Fights to be bottom	Cheerleaders optional
	UNION JACK	Skinhead top	Skinhead bottom	"Oi! to the World"
	CALICO	Tourist	Vacancy sign is lit	How do you even fit a cat in your pocket?
	TIE DYE	Looking for hippiedick	Hippie	You want to stick that daisy where?
METALLICS	GOLD LAMÉ	Brick shithouse	Muscle worshipper	"Lamé" being French for "Tacky."
	SILVER LAMÉ	Celebrity/Title holder	Groupie/Sash Queen	Remember, one little accent acute is the difference between "lamé" and "lame."
	SILVER	Electrician	Multimeter	Insert your own "Shock the Monkey" joke here.
THINGS	TEDDY BEAR	Cuddler	Cuddlee	"Hi there. My name is Teddy Ruxpin. Can you and I be friends?"
	FUR	"Any pets at home like you?"	"I LOVE my dog"	Flag fur; watch people avoid you!
	KEWPIE DOLL	Chicken Hawk	Poulet	Pullet Surprise? (old joke)
	DIRTY JOCKSTRAP	Wears a Dirty Athletic Supporter	Is a Dirty "Athletic Supporter"	Obscure double entendre #524: "Having a sausage down at the Chock Full O' Nuts"
	DOILY	Tearoom top	Tearoom bottom	Wow! My great aunt must have been pretty damn kinky!
	MOSQUITO NETTING	Outdoor sex top	Outdoor sex bottom	Because a can of "Off" is hard to fit into a pocket.
	PLASTIC BAGGIE	Has Drugs	Wants Drugs	"Baggie." Hee hee. I just love saying "Baggie."
	COCKTAIL NAPKIN	Bartender	Barfly	Barfly? Is that an adverb?
	KLEENEX	Stinks	Sniffs	"Let me be your fume hood."
	KEYS IN FRONT	Top "my place"	Bottom "my place"	Guys, I realize "Your place or mine?" is a cliché, but it is a lot more effective than "key morphology".
	KEYS IN BACK	Top "your place"	Bottom "your place"
	HANDYWIPE	Motor oil top	Oil pan	It better last longer than 10 minutes, Jiffy Lube!
	CHAMOIS	Biker	Bikee	Bikee. It's a word, dammit!
	VACUUM CLEANER BAG	Cock Pumper	Wants Cock Pumped	And NO, a Swiffer Sweeper is not sufficient.
	PLASTIC WRAP	Mummifier	Tutankhamun	Perhaps this should read "Palletization fetishist." Nah!
	TOOTHBRUSH	Lover's out; my place OK	Your place only	Just a toothbrush? Talk about traveling light!
	SAFETY PIN	Safe sex top	Safe sex bottom	There's more poetry in black/white check
	ROPE	Japanese bondage top	Japanese bondage bottom	I'm just transcribing; I don't try to explain.
	PLASTIC FORK	Dinner included (top)	Dinner included (bottom)	Isn't that "dating"?
	CELERY	Brunch included (top)	Brunch included (bottom)	You mean it's not "Dr. Who top"?
	AN ACTUAL LEMON	Enema top	Enema bottom	Coming soon: "The Produce Code"
	SWEAT BAND	Wrassler top	Wrassler bottom	Let's get ready to RUMBLLLLLLLLLE!
	BUBBLE WRAP	Alien	Xenophile	Must... resist... lewd... Dalek... image.
	ROSARY	Ritual Top	Ritual Bottom	Bless me father, for I'm about to sin.
	MILKBONE	Pet owner	Doggy	"MeatyBone is a barking good treat; bark if you like meat!"
	BOOT LACES	Boot top	Boot bottom	You want me to make a snide remark about boot sex? Are you INSANE?

Notes on the Hanky Code

"God dild you"

It's Shakespeare. Ophelia says it in Act Four, Scene Five of Hamlet.

Well, God dild you! They say the owl was a baker's daughter. Lord, we know what we are, but know not what we may be. God be at your table!

In this case, "dild" means reward. However, when I played Laertes several years ago, I made it a point to plant the seed of what "God dild you!" might mean into the mind of the woman playing Ophelia. After she finished beating me to a pulp, she realized that it would take a supreme effort not to giggle every time she spoke that line, particularly since a) Ophelia's was supposed to be insane at that point and b) one of the most incredible lines in the play ("Lord, we know what we are...") follows immediately.

"Gipple? Laureola?"

Seinfeld. The only Seinfeld reference on this site. It was an early episode where Jerry is dating a terrific girl (if you're into that sort of thing) but forgets her name. He tries to figure out what it is by asking if she was teased about her name as a child. She replies, "Are you kidding? With a name that rhymes with a part of the female anatomy?" He spends the rest of the episode trying to figure it out. Finally, she cottons on to the fact that he's forgotten her name and confronts him. He tries to fake it, but she demands that he tell her what her name is. In desperation, he tries the names his friends suggested. "Mulva? [she starts to walk out] Gipple? Laureola?" [she closes the door behind her. He stands there dejected, then suddenly remembers and calls out the window:] "Dolores, WAIT!" Ah, the magic that was early Seinfeld.

"Multipass!";

From The Fifth Element, when Leeloo and Korben reach the ship to Fhloston, Leeloo presents her Multipass (ticket) and states, "Multipass" like that explains everything. My friend Bandit told me that when someone asks him what an orange hanky means, that is his complete response: "Multipass!"

Regarding Orange hankies;

Thus we see how totally useless the hanky code really is, someone wearing an orange hanky in their right pocket may be saying, "I'm willing to bottom in any way you care to mention" or they may be saying "If you say more than three words to me, Master will beat me when we get home." You don't know which one, until you say "Hi there, hot stuff!" and see if he cringes.

There's also the additional issue of the meaning of "Anything." Anything? Really? 'Cos I really get off on removing a guy's fingers one by one with sulfuric acid. I'm sorry, that handkerchief is considered a colorimetric contract. Now come along.

Granted, I generally interpret orange to mean "There's a damn good chance that I'm going to say yes to whatever you suggest." Of course, there was someone who once told me that a handkerchief should be considered negotiable only if it had the traditional "bandits robbing a train" paisley pattern on it, otherwise a solid colored hanky was considered to be a non-negotiable requirement.

Granted, based on the general time-frame of when I recall that statement being made vis-a-vis my social history, that person was probably drunk off his ass at the time.

"Aluminum Zirconium Tetrachlorohydrex";

Common ingredient in antiperspirant.

"...hanky-panky guy";

From the song "Hanky Panky" by Madonna from the Dick Tracy Soundtrack. The basic "message" of the song is "I like to be spanked." I swear to everything that I hold dear that I am NOT a Madonna fan. I only know the song because it is a kick-ass song for doing the "Slap Leather" line dance. And now I've admitted to being a line-dancer. Sigh. So much for butch.

"So we'll sit on our faces...";

Line from the song "Sit on My Face" by Monty Python's Flying Circus. It's relatively plain that the song was framed in terms of "man (OK, men) singing to a woman" but I've uttered that phrase many times in my life, and it's never been to a woman.

"Scumbucket";

This was an old Eddie Murphy bit from Saturday Night Live (when it was funny; yes, I'm old enough to remember way back then). Anyway, this is from "Mister Robinson's Neighborhood" (imagine Mister Rogers in the Projects). This was Mr. Robinson's word of the day. I still find this funny.

"Coxswain";

A coxswain (pronounced cox'n) is a term used in rowing. The coxswain sits in the back of the boat and shouts "Stroke, stroke" (It's more complicated than that, but that's where the humor comes in.)

"Brown Lace";

According to my friend littleDan, one can obtain brown lace from a certain fabric store in Paramus, New Jersey. Color me shocked.

"Grey Flannel Suit";

The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit was written by Sloan Wilson (made into a film starring Gregory Peck). The phrase refers to the new uniform of the men who entered the business world immediately after returning from World War II. It represents social stability and a very "clothes make the man" ideology. Although not grey flannel.

"Lie-la-lie, etc.";

That's the chorus from "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel.

On the Confederate Flag;

The flag shown on the left is often referred to as the "Stars and Bars." According to Flags of the World (FOTW), the Stars and Bars does not properly refer to this flag. The flag shown on the left is properly known the battle flag of the Confederacy. The proper Stars and Bars (on the right) was the official flag of the Confederacy, but posed a significant problem on the battlefield, as it was too easily confused with the Stars and Stripes, so the Southern Cross became more well-recognized as the Confederate Flag. You can read about the many variations on the Stars and Bars and the Southern Cross on the FOTW pages about American Confederate Flags. (Having re-read the site and a couple of others, I've oversimplified the issue beyond belief. The only thing I can say unequivocally is that the flag on the right is the official Stars and Bars (seven star version). Read the sites if you've got time.