Dictionary of BDSM Terms

Introduction

There is a whole other language out there that is used to describe this whole other world. Sometimes it can feel a little impenetrable. This is an attempt to quickly explain some of the terms, or at least offer one perspective on them.

Everyone has their own perspective on a given definition. These are our attempts to describe them briefly. If you think there is something we have missed, could explain better, or just got plain wrong, by all means reach us via the Contact Us page (linked at the bottom of this) to let us know. Just remember that we can not give every perspective.

Sub Pages

Acronyms

While some of the most common acronyms are covered here, the main lists are kept in the acronyms section just off this page. If there are a seemingly random collection of letters that make no sense to you, that is probably the place to go.

Story Codes

With all of the erotic fiction posted to the newsgroups, a system was needed to categorize it so that people could tell at a glance what a given story was likely to be about. That system evolved as a series of letter codes that could be placed in the description of the story or the title.

This page provides a list of most of the commonly used codes, their usage, and what is hopefully a convenient way to search for them.

A

Abrasion -The use of abrasive materials to stimulate the skin. Examples of materials include wire wool, sand paper or cheese graters.

Age Play -Role playing being a different age within a scene.

Alcohol Enema -See Enema.

Anal Sex -Sexual intercourse involving the anus.

Anal Speculum -See Speculum, Anal.

Ankle Cuffs -See Cuffs.

Arm Sleeves -Long sleeves which when laced together can restrain the entire arm.

Asphyxiation -Play involving the restriction of air. There are several reasons for this most involving fear play and trust or the way the body responds to asphyxiation (it apparently heightens arousal, though we can recommend many much safer forms.

B

B.D.S.M. -Generally taken to mean: Bondage/Discipline, Domination/submission, Sadism/Masochism, B.D.S.M. is a collective term to cover all activities that fall within or near to that broad definition.

Just because someone practices one aspect does not mean they practice all of them - enjoying Bondage but disliking Sadism/Masochism for example is perfectly valid. To differentiate, people interested in a particular subset will often just use those initials for example, "I'm in to D/s." or "I'm in to B/D and S/M but not D/s."

Beating -Hitting someone to cause physical pain, usually for Sadistic/Masochistic reasons. Beatings can be for titillation (see Beating Soft) as opposed to pain (see Beating Hard).

B/D -Abbreviation for Bondage/Discipline. See B.D.S.M.

Beating, Hard -Soft (Light) Beating and Hard Beating are terms often used to differentiate between a relatively gentle play beating from one that is intended to cause a reasonable degree of physical pain and the responses that raises.

Beating, Light -See Beating, Hard.

Beating, Soft -See Beating, Hard.

Besitality -Having sex with an animal. Different to Zoophilia as it is about sex not love.

Biting -Using teeth to create sensations, particularly pain.

Blindfolds -Using a material to remove vision. By removing vision other senses are often heightened. This can also be used for fear play as the recipient may not know what is going to happen.

Bloodsports -Play involving blood.

Body Modification -Changing physical aspects of your body. Common methods include: branding, piercing, scarification, tattoos.

Body Piercing -Piercing parts of the body other than the head. (See piercing)

Bondage -Restricting movement, usually with rope though almost anything can be used such as saran wrap (cling film), chains, straight jackets, etc.

Bondage, Heavy -Heavy bondage usually means completely removing someone's ability to move while light bondage usually means simply limiting it in some non-complete form.

Bondage, Light -See Bondage Heavy.

Boot Worship -Worshiping the boots of another. This can be for several reasons such as a foot or shoe fetish or for the power exchange such an act entails - showing the person worshiping the boots of the other to be firmly 'beneath' them.

Bottom -Someone who enjoys aspects of the scene as a 'recipient' but for whom submission is not a part of it. For example, a bottom could enjoy a flogging from a Top but that flogging is about the sensations, not the loss of power. Bottoms are different from masochists in that the sensations are not necessarily pain based. Bottoms are the flip side to Tops.

Bottoming -To perform the actions of a bottom.

Branding -Using heat and burns to leave scars for decoration or as a mark of some event/commitment/relationship, etc.

Breast Bondage -Binding the breasts in some restrictive way.

Breast Whipping -Whipping where the target is confined to just the breasts. See Whipping.

Brown Showers -Being defecated upon. See scat play.

C

Caning -Using a cane - usually wooden - or similar pole to beat someone.

Cat / Cat'o'nine tails -The cat is a type of flogger. It was originally used by sailors, made from un spun rope, giving the series of tails, usually with knots in the end. The nine-tails comes from the number of strands, though a cat can generally have pretty much any number. The definition is generally taken pretty laxly to cover most types of flogger.

Catheterisation -Placing a catheter in to someone's urethra to collect their urine.

Catherization -U.S. spelling of Catheterisation.

C.B.T. / CBT -(See Cock/Ball/Torture)

Chauffering -Performing as someone's personal driver.

Choking -Restricting someone's ability to breathe. See asphyxiation.

Choosing Clothing -Taking away the right of an individual to choose their own clothing often as a sign of their submission to the person doing the choosing.

Choosing Food -Taking away the right of an individual to choose their own food often as a sign of their submission to the person doing the choosing.

Clothes Pegs -The English name for the U.S. English 'clothespins'. See clothespins.

Clothespins -Using clothespins to pinch or clamp areas of flesh to heighten sensitivity or cause pain. They are often, though by no means exclusively, used on nipples.

Cock/Ball/Torture -Often abbreviated to C.B.T. Causing pain to the male genitals for Sadistic/Masochistic pleasure.

Cock Worship -The worship of the male genitals. Usually a specific male's genitals such as a lover's rather than all male genitals.

Collaring -The act of giving a collar to someone. See Collars.

Collars -Collars are generally worn for one of three reasons. The most common reason is to signify the possession of the wearer by whoever granted the collar. This usually a very important sign of commitment within the scene community - similar to becoming engaged. Collars are also used for bondage (as a point that can be restrained or one that can have other things tied to it) and for posture.

Collar, Protection -Sometimes a collar is granted temporarily by a Dominant to signify that a submissive is under their protection. When the time comes that the submissive meets a Dom/me that they wish to enter in to a more permanent collaring with, the owner of the protection collar releases them. This form of collaring is becoming more and more common in internet chat rooms where wannabe Dom/mes are often very predatory and may harass submissives who are not collared.

Collar, Training -Sometimes a collar is granted for a period of training. Rather than signifying a commitment that is intended to be permanent, this commitment is intended to last only for the duration of training. See Collars.

Collar, Velcro -As collars are taken as a symbol of extreme commitment, those who tend to change collars regularly, grant their collars regularly or act with little respect of the deeper meanings are often accused of having Velcro collars - symbolising the temporary nature of the collars they are involved with. This is usually a term of contempt from those who value collars. See Collars.

Corset -A device used to shape the waist of the wearer, gathering it in to make it artificially narrower. Essentially the same as Victorian corsets though modern ones come in a wide variety of materials and styles. Reasons for wearing can include, amongst others: style, body modification and bondage/restraint.

Crop -A firm, straight, cane. Usually covered with something like leather or nylon, with a short leather flap at the end. It provides a sharp, stingy sensation, leaving long narrow welts if used hard enough.

Cuffs -Restraints that enclose and connect body parts, limiting movement. Common forms include hand cuffs (enclose and connect the wrists), ankle cuffs (enclose and connect the ankles) and thumb cuffs (enclose and connect the thumbs).

Cutting -Making cuts in to someone's skin, for Sadistic/Masochistic reasons or as a show of trust or submission. (See blood sports)

D

Dilation -Stretching an opening. The two most common forms are anal dilation (stretching the anus open) and vaginal dilation (stretching the vagina open). Dilation can be temporary or permanent - the goal of permanent dilation being to permanently stretch that opening.

Dilation, Permanent -See Dilation.

Dilation, Temporary -See Dilation.

Dom -A male Dominant. (See Dominant)

Dominance -Used to describe the Dominant actions of someone. "He had a natural Dominance", "She was secure in her Dominance over the sub." (See Dominant)

Dominant -Adjective or noun - "I am Dominant", "She is Dominant", "I am the Dominant partner" / "I am a Dominant", "She is a Dominant". Used to express that a person takes control within a power-exchange scenario or relationship. Generally one half of Dominance/submission.

Dominatrix -A female Dominant. Often professional. (See Dominant)

Domme -A female Dominant. (See Dominant)

Double Penetration -Penetration of two orifices at once such as anus and mouth, anus and vagina or mouth and vagina. Also see Triple Penetration.

Dressing, Forced -Dressing in a manner pleasing to another against what would normally be the wishes of the person being dressed. This may be revealing, degrading or simply a form pleasing to the person in control.

D/s -Abbreviation for Dominance/submission. See B.D.S.M.

E

Electricity Play -Using electricity to create sensations. While many toys are home made, there are a variety of commercial products such as the T.E.N.S. unit and the Violet Wand.

Enema -Using water or another liquid, poured via a tube or similar device in to the rectum, to induce defecation. This can be as a preparation for other play or a Dominants pleasure or for humiliation and scat play. Alcohol enemas are sometimes used as it provides a faster transmission medium for the alcohol - strong caution is advised here as alcohol enemas can provide more alcohol than expected to the blood stream and have proved fatal.

Examination -Often used as an abbreviation of Medical Examination. Examinations can take on other forms for example a Master formally examining a slave to determine whether or not her finds the slave worthy of him.

Exhibitionism -Displaying more of the body than is socially acceptable, usually for arousal.

Exhibitionism, Forced -Being forced to display more of the body than is socially acceptable at the whim of another. This can either be against the desire of the person being exposed in which case it may be used for humiliation play, obedience, etc. or for their arousal but still at the whim of another. It may also be a combination of the two.

Exhibitionist -Someone who enjoys displaying more than is socially acceptable.

F

Face Slapping -Slapping the face. In the vanilla context, face slapping is regarded as an abusive display of power and contempt. The scene usage is both derived from that and also simply as a form of beating.

Facial Piercing -Piercing parts of the face. See Piercing.

Fantasy Gang Rape -See Rape, Gang and Rape, Fantasy.

Fantasy Rape -See Rape, Fantasy.

Fist Fucking -See Fisting.

Fisting -Placing the one or both hands inside the vagina or rectum then forming or attempting to form a fist. The resulting fist is fairly large and so creates a feeling of being stretched. To actually perform this requires a fair degree of skill and co-operation as tensing will make it all but impossible and may lead to internal damage. Once the fist is made it may then be moved forwards and backwards to 'fuck' the orifice.

Flash -To briefly expose more of the body than is socially acceptable. See Exhibitionism.

Flasher -Someone who flashes.

Flogger -A multi-stranded (tailed) device used to flog someone. The material it is made of can vary from rope to synthetic material, to leather. It generally consists of about equal lengths handle to falls (the flogging section) to provide balance. A common example is the cat or cat'o'nine tails.

Following Orders -Obeying the orders given by another, there by symbolically accepting a submissive position.

Foot Worship -Worshiping the feet of another. This can be for several reasons such as a foot fetish or for the power exchange such an act entails - showing the person worshiping the feet of the other to be firmly 'beneath' them.

Forced Dressing -See Dressing, Forced.

Forced Exhibitionism -See Exhibitionism, Forced.

Forced Heterosexuality -See Heterosexuality, Forced.

Forced Homosexuality -See Homosexuality, Forced.

Forced Masturbation -See Masturbation, Forced.

Forced Nudity -See Nudity, Forced.

Forced Servitude -See Servitude, Forced.

Full Head Hood -A hood that covers the entire head. The effect may be to render the wearer anonymous, unable to see, speak, hear or in some cases to limit breathing.

G

Gagging -Using a gag on someone. Gagging has a secondary meaning of choking or retching such as when the 'gag' reflex point at the back of the throat is touched.

Gag -Noun: Using a material or device to limit use of the mouth. Not all gags are designed to stop speech (though many are) they can also be used for tasks such as forcing a mouth to remain open, unable to control what is placed inside it.

Verb: To gag means to choke or to retch. See gagging.

Gang Rape, Fantasy -See Rape, Gang and Rape, Fantasy.

Genital Piercing -Piercing parts of the genitals. Common pierces include: inner/outer labia; clitoral hood; glans and urethra (prince albert); the underside of the penis (frenum); scrotal sack (guiche?) and many others. See piercing.

Genital Sex -Sexual intercourse between the genitals of two or more people.

Genital Torture -Causing pain to the genitals for Sadistic/Masochistic pleasure.

Giving Away -To give a submissive or slave to another Dominant or Master. This may be temporary but often implies permanence. This should be entered in to carefully as, aside from emotional issues involved it the submissive may not have consented to the new Dominant and the new Dominant may not know or respect the submissive's limits.

Golden Shower -To urinate upon someone else. So named because of the 'golden' colour of urine and the way it showers the recipient.

Gor -Gor is a fantasy creation based on a series of novels set on Counter Urth - a similar planet to the Earth that orbits exactly opposite the Earth and so is always directly behind the sun and invisible. On Gor, society is profoundly different with Dominants (usually male) taking slaves (usually female, called kajira). Slaves on Gor have no rights and are subject to the whims of their owners. These whims may include death. There is no concept of safewords on Gor.

There is a rich tradition built upon the Gor novels including everything from dress to serving rituals to submissive positions. When used positively, this can provide a very rich background upon which to base power exchange scenes and relationships. Unfortunately Gorean culture is often abused and used by unscrupulous would be Dominants as a means to justify their damaging play. As a result, many non-Gorean scene members tend to write off Gor as both dangerous and fake. It should be noted that, with a degree of forewarning, common sense as to where the fantasy must end and consideration, Gor can offer a lot.

Gorean -An adjective used to describe something being from Gor. For example Gorean culture, a Gorean Dominant or the Gorean lifestyle.

Group Masturbation -See Masturbation, Group.

H

Hairbrush -Traditional flat backed hairbrushes make very convenient toys - they flat back works wonderfully for spanking while the bristles are great for sensation play.

Hair Pulling -Hair pulling works on several levels. It has associated meanings with violence play, physical dominance and cruelty as well as the more simple pain/arousal trigger.

Hand Cuffs -See Cuffs.

Hand Job -Sexually pleasuring someone else's genitals with your hand (giving) or having someone use their hands on your genitals (receiving). See masturbation.

Harnessing -Putting someone in harness. This may be for bondage or control. Often a part of Pony Play.

Heavy Beating -See Beating, Heavy.

Heavy, Bondage -See Bondage Heavy.

Heterosexual -Adjective: A person who is sexual towards members of the opposite gender. See Heterosexuality.

Adverb: Something which is in the nature of sexuality directed towards the opposite sex.

Heterosexuality -Sexuality focused towards the opposite gender. The opposite of homosexuality - sexuality towards the same gender.

Heterosexuality, Forced -Being forced to perform heterosexual acts against the ordinary will of the individual.

Homosexual -Adjective: A person who is sexual towards members of the same gender. See Homosexuality.

Adverb: Something which is in the nature of sexuality directed towards the same sex.

Homosexuality -Sexuality focused towards the same gender. Taken from the stem Homo- meaning man - sexuality towards other men. The opposite of heterosexuality - sexuality towards the opposite gender. Often used for both genders - men loving men and women loving women (see Lesbian).

Homosexuality, Forced -Being forced to perform homosexual acts against the ordinary will of the individual.

Human Pony -See Pony Play.

Human Puppy -See Puppy Play.

Humiliation -Humiliation play, much like pain play, can cause the body to release adrenaline and endorphins to cope with what it perceives as a threatening situation. As with pain play, these chemicals can be found pleasurable. Humiliation can take a wide variety of forms from exhibitionism to name calling to abuse play. As with many perceived negative 'abuse' aspects of the scene, beyond the chemical highs, there can be the ability to explore concepts that are otherwise painful to deal with and potentially bring about a degree of closure.

Humiliation, Private -Humiliation play that takes place in a private setting between just the instigator and the recipient.

Humiliation, Public -Humiliation play that takes place in the view or possible view of others. This may be with other scene members at a party or it may be in public. When playing in public and using public responses it should be noted that the public have probably not consented to being a part of the particular scene and so should be treated with care.

I

Ice -Extremes of hot and cold can be a great part of sensation play. Ice, due to its solidity, is convenient to handle and, due to it melting, brings in a range of other options with it dripping and so on. While the human body detects cold very well, it tends to be bad at the specifics of the response. As such ice can be used with a blindfolded person along with verbal suggestions and hints to create the illusion of any number of sharp sensations such as knife play.

Including Others -Including people other than your partner in your sexual encounters and scenes.

Infantilism -Taking on the role of an infant.

Injections -Using injections as a part of scene play. This may be as a variant of needle play or may be used to inject saline in to body parts as a temporary form of body modification.

Intricate Rope Bondage -Taking rope bondage to the extremes of intricacy. Some people may find the time needed is too much and leaves them bored or loses their arousal. For others the intricacy and complexity elevate rope bondage to another level.

Interrogation -Role playing an interrogation scene. This may simply verbally aggressive or may go so far as torture.

K

Kajira -The term kajira is used within Gorean culture to indicate a slave. See Gor and Slave.

Kidnapping -Role playing a kidnapping.

Kneeling -Kneeling is taken as a form of subservience. Many individuals and groups take kneeling further by introducing formal positions and rituals when kneeling that emphasise the submission.

L

Leather -Leather is one of the most popular materials used within the scene. As well as the fetishistic appeal it has for many people, it is strong, flexible and can be shaped well. It is worth noting that some people have moral objections to the use of leather and it is worth checking with a new partner that they are comfortable your using it before you do for the first time.

Leather Restraints -Restraints made of leather. For example cuffs/manacles.

Lecturing -A form of verbal humiliation and punishment.

Leg Sleeves -Similar to arm sleeves, leg sleeves allow the entire legs to be restrained together. See leg sleeves.

Lesbian -A female homosexual. See Homosexual and Homosexuality.

Licking -Use of the tongue. Licking can be interpreted in a wide variety of ways by different people. It can involve sensation play (particularly when a bound victim is tied up and licked); intimacy; submission and servitude (for example when a Dominant orders a submissive to lick their shoes or feet).

Light Beating -See Beating, Light.

Light Bondage -See Bondage, Light.

M

Masochism -Deriving pleasure from your own pain and suffering. Often for the chemical reactions the body has to pain and as a symbol of giving up power.

Masochist -Someone who enjoys masochism.

Massage -The rubbing or kneading of parts of the body to aid circulation or relax the muscles. This may be as a caring action or as a form of servitude.

Masturbation -Sexually pleasuring ones genitals. Usually with the hands. Also see Hand Job.

Masturbation, Forced -Being forced to masturbate against the ordinary will of the individual. Perhaps in a situation where they would not willingly masturbate such as in front of others.

Masturbation, Group -Masturbating in a group.

Masturbation, Mutual -Sexually pleasuring each other with the hands.

Medical Examination -Medical style examination of a subject, often internal using speculums or similar.

Medical Play -Scenes involving elements of the medical profession. May often, though not always, include a medical examination.

Mouth Bit -A bar that passes from one side of the mouth to the other, between the teeth, usually secured behind the head, in exactly the same way as a horses bit does on a horse. This may be as a type of gag or for pony play.

Mutual Masturbation -See Masturbation, Mutual.

N

Nipple Torture -Causing pain to a nipple for Sadistic/Masochistic pleasure.

Nudity, Forced -Being forced to be naked against the ordinary will of the individual. Perhaps in a situation where they would not willingly be naked such as in front of others.

O

Orgasm Control -Controlling when orgasms are permitted. Sometimes as a punishment, sometimes to add meaning to them when they do happen, for a variety of reasons.

Orgasm Denial -The denial of the right to orgasm. See Orgasm Control.

P

Paddle -A wide, flat object uses to beat large areas of flesh. Appearances vary from table tennis bats to long boards with handles at one end, sometimes with holes drilled through to reduce air resistance.

Penetration, Double -See Double Penetration.

Penetration, Double -See Triple Penetration.

Permanent Dilation -See Dilation, Permanent.

Piercing -Placing adornments such as jewelry through holes made in the body for the purpose. Ear piercing is a commonly accepted vanilla version. Most parts of the body can be pierced though. Often for sexual as well as adornment reasons. (See body piercing, facial piercing and genital piercing)

Play Piercing -Temporary, non-permanent, piercings. Used to create much of the effect, as well as for Sadism/masochism reasons, but lasts only for the duration of the scene.

Pony Boy -A male who takes on the role of a pony. See Pony Play.

Pony Girl -A female who takes on the role of a pony. See Pony Play.

Pony Play -Taking on the role of a horse. This may be taken to a range of extremes: from briefly playing with aspects of being an anthropomorphisised horse, perhaps crawling around with someone on your back, to fully taking on the persona of a horse, with all of the associated harness, equipment and activities, for escapism play.

Post-Operative Transsexual -A transsexual who has had the operation to change genders. (See Transsexual)

Pre-Operative Transsexual -A transsexual who has not had the operation to change genders but usually has had the hormone treatments and other related processes to begin the change. (See Transsexual)

Protection Collar -See Collar, Protection.

Puppy Boy -A male who takes on the role of a puppy. See Puppy Play.

Puppy Girl -A female who takes on the role of a puppy. See Puppy Play.

Puppy Play -Taking on the role of a puppy. This may be taken to a range of extremes: from briefly playing with aspects of being an anthropomorphisised puppy to fully taking on the persona of a puppy for escapism play. Puppy play often involves a degree of water sports as puppies are 'prone to have accidents'.

Pussy Torture -Causing pain to the female genitals for Sadistic/Masochistic pleasure.

R

Rape -Rape is a crime where one person forces themselves sexually upon another, against their will. Rape itself has no part in consensual sexuality however rape fantasies can be a part of it, allowing the concept to be consensually explored.

Rape, Fantasy -Playing out a fantasy scene of a rape. While rape itself has no part in consensual sexuality, rape fantasies can be a part of it, allowing the concept to be consensually explored. This can be for a whole variety of reasons such as exploration of the issues, confronting past experiences, power exchange, fear, stranger or 'non-consensual' fantasies.

Rape, Gang -Rape committed by more than one assailant. As with non-Gang rape, in itself it has no part in consensual sexuality but the fantasy may do, especially as a justification for sex with multiple partners ("me thinks the lady doth protest too much"). See Rape, Fantasy.

S

Sadism -Deriving pleasure from the pain and suffering of others. Often as a symbol of power.

Sadist -Someone who enjoys sadism.

Scarification -Causing deliberate scars for decoration or as a mark of some event/commitment/relationship, etc.

Scarfing -A form of asphyxiation play. Named from the use of a scarf to strangle the "recipient". (See asphyxiation)

Scat Play -Defecating (shitting) upon someone.

Scene -1. A collective term to describe the elements of a particular kink. Identical in use to 'the party scene', 'the fetish scene' describes all of the clubs, related social and lifestyle aspects of fetish culture while 'the D/s scene' describes the aspects of D/s culture and so on.

'The scene', within the context of a particular kink is simply an abbreviation for example within the fetish scene, 'the scene' is taken to mean 'the fetish scene'. To complicate things a little further, 'the scene' has a general context taken to mean all aspects of all alternative lifestyles.

2. A scene is also a way to describe a delimited sexual encounter. For example 'We had a heavy scene last night' or 'I would like to try an interrogation scene with you.' It comes from the same base as a dramatic scene though it does not necessarily involve role play.

Scening -The imperfect form of to scene. Meaning to be involved in a scene. As in "We were scening last night." See the second definition of Scene.

Serve -To perform tasks for another. This may be menial such as serving a meal or tidying the house or sexual such as performing sexual tasks for another's pleasure.

Serviced -Receiving the actions of someone serving you. See Serve.

Serving -See Serve.

Servitude, Forced -Being forced to be serve against the ordinary will of the individual. Perhaps in a situation where they would not willingly serve such as in front of others.

Slave -Traditionally slaves are people who belong to others. Within the scene it is taken to mean something similar - a submissive in a long term relationship who regards himself or herself to be owned by their Dominant. As with many terms there are those who use it that others feel do not have the level of commitment necessary to use the term appropriately hence there may be the appearance of a wider definition.

The term slave is also sometimes used by those submissives that believe they have 'no rights' and are simply available to be used by any Dominant. As mentioned above this usage is sometimes treated with contempt as many would argue that claiming you have no limits is both dangerous and immature (as experience proves that everyone other than the clinically insane has some limits).

Those involved in Gorean culture tend to use the term slave (kajira in Gorean) to describe any submissive female.

S&M -abbreviation for Sadism and Masochism. See B.D.S.M.

S/M -abbreviation for Sadism/Masochism. See B.D.S.M.

Soft Beating -See Beating, Soft.

Speculum -A device used to dilate an orifice for examination. Traditionally speculums are used by gynecologists to perform vaginal examinations. They are also sometimes used for anal examinations. See Medical Examination and Medical Play.

Speculum, Anal -A speculum used for anal examinations.

Speculum, Vaginal -A speculum used for vaginal examinations.

Sub -A submissive person of either gender. See submissive.

Submission -Used to describe the submissive actions of someone. "He had a natural submission", "She felt secure in her submission to her Master." (See Dominant)

Submissive -Someone who enjoys surrendering power within a power exchange setting or relationship.

T

Tawse -An item used for beating. Traditionally a long, narrow (width wise), heavy, strip of leather, often with one or two splits.

Temporary Dilation -See Dilation, Temporary.

T.E.N.S. Unit -A commercial pain relief device that uses electricity to ease pain in specific areas that have been targeted by its pads. It also gets used by practitioners of electricity play as it is a convenient, controllable device.

Top -Someone who enjoys aspects of the scene as a 'biver' but for whom dominance is not a part of it. For example, a Top may have no problem with a bottom giving constant demands to the direction in which the scene progresses as they are interested in giving the sensation, not dominating the bottom. Tops are different from say sadists in that the sensations they give are not necessarily pain based.

Topping -To perform the actions of a Top.

Training Collar -See Collar, Training.

Transexual -Someone who has changed their gender. (See pre-operative and pre-operative transsexuals)

Transvestite -Someone who enjoys dressing in the clothes of, or appearing to be of, another gender.

Triple Penetration -Penetration of all three orifices at the same time: anus, mouth and vagina. Also see Double Penetration.

V

Vaginal Speculum -See Speculum, Vaginal.

Velcro Collar -See Collar, Velcro.

Violet Wand -A commercial product that allows a surface charge of electricity to be given by those interested in electricity play.

W

Watersports -Play involving urine and urination.

Whip -A long flexible device, usually made of leather, used to beat someone.

Whipping -Using a whip to beat someone. Usually for Sadistic/Masochistic reasons.

Whipping, Breast -See Breast Whipping.

Wrist Cuffs -See Cuffs.

Z

Zoophile -Someone who is in to zoophilia.

Zoophilia -Having loving relationships with animals. Practitioners differentiate it from bestiality as they claim it is about love, rather than sex.