Worthy To Own

Tips for Dominants

By Norische

Within the vast ocean of Domination there are a few that stand out amongst the waves, there are those that are worthy to own. These individual’s stand out for many reasons, and to each submissive/slave there is something they look for in a Dominant. A submissive/slave will normally choose a Dominant that they have something in common with; they will have similar limits, ethics, morals and interests. Just because a Dominant is different or unique in some manner does not make them undesirable either, in fact in many ways it is the uniqueness that makes a Dominant more desirable to some submissives/slaves. It is not race, or age, gender, or ethnicity, or appearance that makes a Dominant worthy to own, it is what is inside of the individual.

There are many things that a Dominant will learn with experience, such as control, understanding, compassion, consistency, technique, respect, and safety. There are some things however that sometimes go with out notice; to me manners, protocol and etiquette are very important. A Dominant may have the techniques and safety issues down pat but have absolutely atrocious manners, or someone may be powerful, and consistent but not know the slightest thing about etiquette or appropriate behavior; these individuals may have problems finding a partner. Without a good understanding of appropriate behavior one will find it very difficult to make a good first impression. Also public gatherings are very awkward when one is not familiar with protocol or acceptable behaviors. Likewise someone that is new to the lifestyle that is still inexperienced in many ways will be a hit when he or she expresses good manners.

I have written a few tips that I think are a good start to understanding proper manners and etiquette for a Dominant.

Public or Group Behavior

When first meeting someone do not address them as a familiar, even if someone is a sub/slave it is appropriate to show respect.
Do not rush up to a sub/slave; it tends to make one appear desperate.
Walk with pride and dignity; do not flitter around a room.
Do not follow a sub/slave around or crowd him or her; he or she may think you may mean them harm.
Do not assume that just because someone is a sub/slave that they are there to serve you.
Remember to say please and thank you, it doesn’t mean that you are weak or less of a Dominant to show you have manners.
Mingle, talk to everyone, and don’t just hover over one specific individual.
Do not appear jealous, or threatened when another Dominant is near, this is a sure sign of insecurity or low self-esteem.
Be yourself, don’t get into a pissing contest with other Dominants, you should not feel you need to prove yourself.
Ask permission to speak to someone. If you are unsure as to whether an individual is owned or not, ask. It is not a good idea to step on others toes.
Do not get offended if someone refuses to talk they may be under protocol from his or her Dominant and are not permitted to answer.
Never touch another Dominant’s property. This goes for toys, and individuals, if you are unsure if someone is owned... DON’T TOUCH.
Never stare at a sub/slave, it not only makes them uncomfortable but it may very well scare them away.
Do not use profanity; your choice of words may very well be what makes you stand out to someone.
Do not raise your voice or yell across the room, just because you are a Dominant doesn’t mean you have to break someone else’s eardrums.
It is acceptable to open the door for others, even subs/slaves. Do not barge through an open door; it will make you appear clumsy and bullish.
Do not attempt to dominate someone you are not familiar with, just because someone is a sub/slave doesn’t mean they are YOUR sub/slave.
Never be rude or show disrespect. If you show disrespect to my slave you show disrespect to Me.
If you offend someone, it is appropriate to apologize, do not be too proud to say I am sorry.
Do not make sexual inferences to someone you are unfamiliar with, teasing and having fun is acceptable but make sure you know the person before you go to far.
Never assume anything, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Do not correct another Dominant; especially in front of his or her sub/slave, show respect. You can have a difference of opinion but remember to express yourself in a manner that will show respect.
Do not assume that all females are submissive and that all males are Dominant.
Do not consume alcohol or drink to excess, also never attempt to drink and drive.
Do no loose control; there is nothing that shows a persons immaturity as a temper tantrum.
Do not trespass within someone’s personal space; remember trespassers may be shot.

General Tips

Do not correct your sub/slave in public, simply whisper in their ear that you will discuss the behavior later. A good way to address this is to have him or her carry a punishment book, this way you can tell them to write the incident down in their book and so it can be addressed at a later time.
Do not assume that your sub/slave knows what you are thinking; if you need something ask.
Do not grope or fondle your sub/slave in public, it may make him or her feel very uncomfortable... unless of course that is your goal.
Do not downgrade or belittle your sub/slave in front of others.
Do not interfere with the way another Dominant is treating his or her sub/slave. You may not understand something, if a behavior is questionable, then ask questions. If a behavior appears to be dangerous, it is acceptable to voice your concerns but do so in an appropriate manner.
Do not ignore your sub/slave. Just because they know what is expected doesn’t mean they wish to be ignored, or abandoned.
Do not leave your slave without letting him or her know where you will be. If you must leave them unattended ask a respected Dominant to keep an eye out for him or her.
Never put your sub/slave in danger, remember he or she is a precious thing. It is a terrible thing to waste a good sub/slave.
Don’t be wishy-washy, a sub/slave should know what behaviors are acceptable, do not allow him or her to get away with an unacceptable behavior.
Be consistent, if a behavior is inappropriate at home it is inappropriate in public.
If your sub/slave is uncomfortable take the time and listen to him or her, maybe something has occurred that you are unaware of.
If a behavior must be addressed immediately take the sub/slave to a private area and discuss the issue.
Do not strike your sub/slave in frustration or anger; always retain control over your emotions.

At all times you must remember that you are a Dominant, behave with honor, dignity, and self-confidence. A true Dominant does not feel that he or she must compete or try to impress others. If you are a novice within the lifestyle remember, so was everyone else at one time or another. We all learn and grow as time passes, those that are too stubborn to learn or are too proud to admit that they do not know something are not going to get very far in this lifestyle. Knowledge is something to be shared and gathered.

Just like all other articles I have written this is my opinion, please take from this article what you wish and ignore the rest.

If you have any questions or would like to contact me, my email is Norisch1@mchsi.com.