Where Have All The Real Slaves Gone?

Head Games Subs/Slaves Play

By Norische

In the past year or so I have been searching for an addition to my home, specifically I have been looking for a domestic or domestics. Over and over again individuals have applied for the position, both males and females, ranging in ages from 19 to 60, every nationality and location.

I have had a young male from Canada, whom I spoke to for almost 9 months. There was a 50 yr old male from Sweden. There was a 52 yr old male from Chicago, and a 31 yr old male from San Jose, California. There was a 36 yr old female from England, there was also a couple of guys from Egypt, and a female from Florida. The list goes on and on....

Each individual was eager to talk; eager to beg for my attention... but when it came down to a commitment, or meeting face to face they would suddenly disappear. It honestly didn't matter how long I had spoken with the individual or how devoted they appear. The length of time they were involved in the lifestyle or whether they considered themselves a submissive or slave did not seem to make a difference either.

Most of them had seen my writings and looked up one of my profiles on the Internet and found I was looking for another slave/sub for my house. Or they were simply surfing the net and found my profile somewhere and made contact.

Some had a little experience, some had almost no experience and some had a great deal of experience. There was a sissy maid, a human puppy, several domestics, a couple that were pain sluts and a few that were general house slaves.

No matter what their focus within the lifestyle or how much real time experience they had, it seems that the vast majority of them were merely curious, or just wanted an Internet relationship.

The boy from Canada whom I had spoken to for around 9 months, even went so far as to buy a plain ticket twice, and he even sent me a duplicate of the receipt to prove his devotion. Somehow he was unable to come down each time, hence wasting the airfare both times. I even offered to drive to Canada and pick him up and bring him back down here, a total of over 3000 miles round trip. It probably would have taken me 3-½ days to drive there and maybe the same back. I calculated the cost of the gas, food and hotel stays and it would have been over 800.00 for me to do this. When I made the suggestion, stating that I was willing to take my time and money and come get him, all of the sudden instead of being honored that I would be willing to do that... he simply quit contacting me. For 9 months he had not missed a single day of contact, he had either written, emailed, or instant messaged me every day, then all the sudden it was nothing. All along he had been searching for every excuse, it cost too much (but he was willing to loose the cost of two airline tickets), his family didn't like the idea of him moving so far away from them, he was afraid of what would happen if things didn't work out, then it was back to the money, and back to his family. To say the least I got tired of his games.

There have been some individuals that were honestly serious about meeting and did show up, one young man would have worked out great... unfortunately he had an allergy to cats (me and my five kitties liked him quite a bit). There was one that would have been here in a minute if I would make him the only one in the household. There was another that would have enjoyed being here but he seemed to have too many financial obligations for me to work with, I can't really afford to take over anyone else's credit card bills and car payments.

After several years in this lifestyle I am well aware of the fear and hesitation that most submissives/slaves have when it comes to meeting someone new. There are several things that keep these individuals from actively searching for a Dominant... mostly it is the fear of the unknown and the fear of failure. What if this Internet Master is a total psycho? What if the he or she isn't what they make themselves out to be? What if I am not good enough? What if...what if... what if.... The questions run through their mind at warp speed. Most individuals do not allow their fears to control them, but when you have been lied to so many times your perspective on individuals gets somewhat clouded.

Unfortunately the same thing happens to Dominants that are searching for a true slave or submissive. There are a lot of absolutely serious individuals out there that want nothing more than to serve, and be part of a BDSM household. Unfortunately, after you go through 20, 30 even 40 or more applicants and each one proves to be a waste of time and effort you begin to wonder...where are the real slaves?

Every day I get contacted by individuals just wanting to scene with me, I explain that while scening is fun and of course it does feed that sadistic side of me...it isn't all about the play time. The majority of contacts that I get are individuals just out for a little fantasy role playing or a kinky weekend, I explain to these individuals that it isn't all about sex, and move on. Occasionally, I get individuals that are wanting to give me money in exchange for my time... as much as I would appreciate the help around here, I have to explain to these individuals that it isn't all about the money.

To each of these individuals I feel that I must explain what being a slave or submissive honestly is... it is about service. Oh it can include sex or scening, but it doesn't have to... these things are in addition to normal every day activities they are not the primary reason I search for a slave.

I am sure that some people will get their feathers in a fluff at my statements and to those individuals I must apologize. As a Mistress I find myself getting very weary of the mind games, the players, wannabees and kinksters that I encounter on a daily basis. I have written a few suggestions down for those people that are honest about becoming a slave/sub and merely need to find the right individual for them.

Be honest; don't make yourself out to be more or less than you are. Once you meet someone it is very hard to make up for exaggerations or blatant lies you have told someone when trying to impress them.
If you have a medical condition that may keep you from serving in some capacity, let the individual know about it as soon as it is appropriate. It may have absolutely no affect on the individual's decision but they have the right to make an informed decision nonetheless.
If you are not ready to make a commitment, don't pretend that you are. If you have baggage that you need to deal with, make sure it is taken care of before you decide to look for a Dominant.
If you have excessive financial obligations that may hinder you in some way, make sure you explain all your obligations as soon as it would be appropriate; the only way to prevent a misunderstanding is with knowledge.
When you make a decision to contact someone, do your self and him or her a favor... keep your attention on one person at a time. Do not attempt to talk about making a serious commitment with more than one individual at a time, not only is it unproductive but it may end up hurting all parties involved.
Let the person know up front what type of relationship you are looking for, and if the other individual has a different type of relationship in mind you need to decide if you are willing to compromise on your intentions or not.
Learn to communicate, and to actively listen. Understanding is a powerful tool and this can only be achieved through communication and truly hearing what others say.
If you make a commitment, stand by it. If you promise to meet an individual someplace then stand by your word and show up. If you make a commitment to contact an individual each and every day, do your absolute best to follow through on that commitment.
If you have a job that may present a problem, then state so up front. Some people have jobs that require discretion or that may require travel; hence the individual you choose may need this information to make a wise decision.
If you have fear, let the individual know. It is normal to be apprehensive when you meet someone under such circumstances, but do not let that fear keep you from achieving your desires. If you tell all individuals involved about your fear then together you may be able to work through the fear and hopefully work toward achieving your goal.
Be realistic; don't make the other person out to be more than they are. If you do you are only setting yourself up for disappointment, and you are creating an image that the other person will never live up to.
If you change your mind about someone, show respect and tell him or her so. One thing I find extremely frustrating, is when someone just stops making contact, I have no way of knowing what is going on or what to do about the situation. Do I wait a little while and see if the individual has simply been sick or something, or do I just move on?

There are many real slaves/submissives out there, and unfortunately they must work twice or three times as hard to find someone who is just as real because so many others have tainted the image of a true slave. Do not give up the search, and please make every effort to show respect.

Some day the real slaves will out number the players, wannabees, kinsters, and thrill seekers, and when that day comes I will be there. I look forward to biding my time until then, perhaps my wait will not be too long, but until then my search goes on.

As with everything this is my opinion, take what you will and leave the rest. If you wish to contact me, my email address is Norisch1@mchsi.com. If you wish to see more of my work you may find a complete listing of all my writings at... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Norisches_Quill/?yguid=99788111 in the files section.