BDSM 101 History - SILENT SERVICE THE SPIRIT OF INTENT

by Lady Hugs

Entire contents are hereby Copyrighted © 2004

In this section, I wish to touch on the rarely spoken area of "spirit" as well as "the intent."

In the body language, the way our body functions is from our gut, our soul and our spirit. What we "intent" to do will influence or have effect on how people behave, how circumstances will change and control of the moment will happen.

In using two strong emotions, love and hate, we can take these two emotions and feel for ourselves the energy from our core and how it transmits outwardly when you say nothing and do nothing. In demonstrating it on yourself, dedicate the strong hand with hate and the weak hand with love. Taking deep breaths and clear the mind then think of the most hated thing in your life, taking the strong hand and place palm to the cheek, you can "feel" the emotion. Some people report they feel coldness, emptiness, and trouble feelings to name a few. Taking a deep breath and clearing the mind once again, and replace the hated emotion with love emotion, people have reported warmth, safety, peace to name a few. So, the question is why is this so important to silent service? Here is your answer.

The "spirit of intent," which means in summary, what you feel and do during service has a direct influence on how that serve is expressed outwardly. The reaction by the dominant to which is receiving the request for attention by a submissive individual will radiate their "emotional intent." This also links to pheromones, a natural body scent which conveys fear, love, hate, contentment, pleasure and sexual arousal. For example, a person is stiff with nerves. By this person being nervous, those around will notice the nervousness and without words or any explanation the whole group becomes nervous. Of course, with experience, we can override our internal alarm should we find that the person is nervous due to his or her own lack of experience. If it were a more experienced submissive or slave, their nervousness would be cause for concern if not for an alarm, causing the entire group to be nervous.

By no fault of anyone, people will be nervous on any new path or adventure in the BDSM lifestyle. Nevertheless, this is some comments and observations on the matter of "silent service, the spirit of intent."

Dominants are approached very often when they have a skill or have something that most wish to experience or be involved in. At times, this can be a severe drain to their energy and diminish their own reserves if they are not careful.

There are often more submissive types than dominants of any quality worth associating with. In summary, if you feel that you are worth something and can bring something to the relationship or the lifestyle in general, it is difficult to just "jump in" and know you may see plenty of rejections along the way. Most times this is due to high expectations or those who just want to have attention and not give quality of their skills.

First real soul searching needs to be done before approaching someone, such as a dominant. What are your intentions? Is it just "look at me" and score points? Is it wanting to meet them and once done that, you are done and ready to go off to another, such a social butterfly? Are you there just wanting to serve, to serve well and with quality just for the sake of self-accomplishment? Perhaps you wish to serve, without any expectations at all but, just want to serve for the sake of being of service.

When you have the idea of what you intend for that service to that particular dominant, now it is time to carefully plan your approach to that dominant. If you have good intentions, to be of service without expectations, your entire body will be warm, pleasant and inviting. Even with a person who is a buddle of nerves, the core within your spirit will shine past the nerves. This is what a keen dominant sees and smells.

Perhaps one reason you may wonder why deodorants or perfumes are not welcome in most dungeons? The body’s odor is masked. A body’s natural scent does not lie, where words can.

Anybody can go through the mechanics of serving. Like soldiers on a drill. However, the servant who serves with good intention, with passion and with giving service to those who deserve good service and equally to those who do not, set themselves head and shoulders above the rest. Having praise is a bonus but, knowing that they give service in silent splendor with no expectations, not looking for unwanted attention are those who cause great attention by being silent and alert. Here is what I mean.

These are the choices of behavior to which I offer as an examples.

There was a heavy set lady sitting on a chair, there were several men against the wall. One man, who was extremely well muscled passed several beautiful women sitting down but, they had come much later. He went to the heavy lady’s chair, knelt and begged to be of service. He made his entire focus on her and did her bidding.
There was a beautiful woman seated next to a heavy woman, there were several men against the wall. There was a well muscled man who came over to the beautiful woman and knelt at her feet. He begged to be of service to her. Another beautiful woman passed by, he could not help but turn his head and watch this other lady walk past and settled down to another chair.
There were four beautiful women, who sat upon a long couch. There was a few heavy set women who sat upon a couch on the opposite side of the room. It seemed that the younger men seemed to take interest in the young beauties but, one came immediately to the heavy set women on the couch and kneeled with a gentle, kind and sweet nature. As the young men scrambled for the young beauties, they spoke loud enough to joke about the heavy women and the fool who served them.
There was a beautiful woman, a man at her feet. His hands seem to touch her all over. Clearly, she was uncomfortable with such an aggressive touch by a man who was kneeling at her feet, stiff and trying to keep the hands off her. He wouldn’t take her dismissal, so she stood and moved to sit elsewhere.
There was a beautiful woman who had a man kneeling at her feet. He was indeed curious and started to look about, then started to touch her whips and pull out the toys from her toy bag.
A pretty lady sat at a table. A man was sent over to her, he had an expression as if to say, "I really don’t want to be here." Kneeling, stiffly and in a gruff manner, asked if he could be of service. The lady seeing this man’s discomfort, dismissed him so that he could be cheerful in serving someone else.
A young man approached a heavy set woman. She saw that he was not exactly comfortable at her feet. Smiling gently, giving a reassuring caress with a gloved hand, he managed a smile. He listened intently, asking the lady what service she may require. Upon understanding the request, he nodded and backed away, raising to his feet, backed several more paces back before turning and directly doing the requested task. He returned with the same business face yet pleasant. It is how he served his own Master.

Now, time to do some judging. What do dominants see?

This submissive, who had the "drop dead handsome" looks did not give any different treatment to a woman who was heavy. He made sure that she was all he wanted to serve at that moment, it was his goal to treat her extremely well. Even though he could have chosen any of the beautiful women, he took the lady who was waiting the longest and could use the service.
This submissive did not focus on the one he served, he was already checking out another beautiful body. He was serving his own interest, not of the lady who he knelt in front of. The effect of this submissive on the dominant would be, that the submissive was in for the self serving, social butterfly and apparently she wasn’t beautiful enough to keep his attention. Thus, not worthy of her attention.
These young submissive types were insensitive and rude. They were in search of physical beauty and were the types who let their prejudices be known. Also, scorning a fellow submissive for seeing the ladies was also unkind. Any dominant seeing this happen would promptly pay attention to the submissive who served without bias or prejudice. It means to any dominant, that they are of a slave’s heart. Serving all equally.
This submissive was "hands on," where those hands were not invited to be. Invading personal space and being aggressive can be seen as frightening and a form of assault on a lady. Most times these, "petting" hands are suggesting sex. Not all dominants are looking for sex. Clearly, he was in a submissive role for sex, not service. He was serving self not the dominant.
This submissive is too nosey! He has no business touching another person’s articles, unless permission is given. It would be like having a stranger pick up your knife and fork at the dinner table, when you are about to use it for your dinner. If there is curiosity, a submissive should ask permission to inquire about a certain whip or tool. However, being at her feet, his eyes and mind should have been focused on her -- Not her toys.
This submissive should have never approached a dominant in the first place. If they are going to be in a bad mood, it is best not to be there and not take it out on the dominant. If they were ordered by their owner to serve another dominant, their displeasure in obeying their owner’s wishes should not show to the dominant who is being served. If you, as a submissive or slave have issues about serving another, that should be done so before getting to the feet of that dominant. At times owners make the service unpleasant, to show that servant that at times, things will be unpleasant. Their collar, their training and their behavior, no matter what their personal preference may be, is not important at that period of time. What is important, is to see to that owner’s guest or friend’s needs, for his or her sake, not the servant’s sake.
This submissive was focused on giving the same quality of service, as if he was serving his owner. The standards were exactly the same. He served with great respect and honor, despite personal preference, he made sure that lady was served properly and the way it should be done. Indeed such a submissive type as he, would get great praise and attention. True gem.

Now you can see how attitudes have influences on services.