BDSM 101 History - THE ART OF SILENT SERVICE

by Lady Hugs

Entire contents are hereby Copyrighted © 2004

There are three general areas of silent service, in the capacity of a Master or Mistress and slave relationship. For the sake of brevity, this document in using Master and slave, includes and not excludes any dominant or submissive role.

The three general areas of silent service that can be offered, is that of general service, which includes public venues, non-scene premises, such as restaurants and homes of others, where the interaction is more discreet, as not to call attention to the Master and slave. There is also the personal service, which is in a more private and scene consensual premise but, not necessarily in a dungeon. Then there is the dungeon itself, where the service is offered, accepted, declined, delayed or conditional.

GENERAL SERVICES

• In shopping mode, the slave or submissive walks behind the shoulder of the dominant, that carries the wallet or purse. The root of such is to create a barrier between a potential thief and the safety of their owner’s assets.
• In standing where there are introductions, such as a receiving line at a reception, the slave stands off side of the purse held in hand or any person’s hand to which holds any item in their hand. A woman will move her handbag to the back, to be discretely taken by the slave to hold as to permit the woman to shake hands. For men, that have their hands occupied will move that item behind them to be taken and held for that man, so they may also shake hands and have both hands free. When the woman or man wishes the return of their possessions, they will open their hand behind them, wait for the servant to replace that possession firmly in their grasp then let go and step back to await their next means of service. Note: Much like handing a baton back and forth in track relay races. The dominant should never have to look behind them when in such a situation.
• In escorting a woman, the proper offering of an arm for a dominant woman is to offer your strong hand and make a fist. Usually, this is to the right side, opposite the whip and or sword. The lady will then place her hand over the fist, with gentle pressure of the fingers, will advise what direction she wishes to take, pressure will guide in silence the pace and the halt. Much like a joystick or mouse, the man then has warning that dictates his pace, direction and attention. In escorting a submissive woman, the arm is taken, placed under the weak hand, leaving the strong hand free. The submissive woman’s hand is fed under the arm and curled, to which "traps" a woman if necessary.
• In the dining situation, the host or hostess is the one who signals that the meal is to begin. They take their napkin, unfolding it upon their lap and there it remains until the host or hostess wishes the meal to end. By placing the napkin to the right of the plate, the meal is over. The guests by good etiquette standards are to do the same. The napkin should never leave the lap, unless needed to dab the mouth or when the person needs to leave the table and will return, the napkin is placed on the seat of the chair--NOT on the table.
• In the dining situation, the individual to whom has finished their meal, according to proper etiquette, is to place their fork and knife on the plate, the fork tines down and the knife blade in towards the center of the plate, then position those two pieces of silverware as to lay at 10 o’clock and 4 o’clock position. This is a silent signal to the server, servant and or slave that the plate is ready to be removed.
• In serving foods, the plate should be invisibility marked into quarters. The solid foods and meat should be on the left side of the plate and the liquid or loose foods should be on the right side of the plate. The reasoning behind this, is due to the fork is on the left to hold the meat and solid food, the knife to cut it on the right side, by American standards, the knife is then placed blade in on the edge of the plate, at the 11 o’clock and 1 o’clock position, to which the fork is then used by the right hand to eat with. Only a few bites are cut at a time, not the entire entrée. The liquid food or loose food is on the right side of the plate, to which is best to use with the spoon. This also shortens the route from plate to the guest’s pallet.
• In setting the table, string may be used along with the measuring stick, as to properly space the table setting. The silverware is set by a man’s thumb from the edge of the table from the joint nearest the thumbnail to the end of that thumbnail. Curved ends on the end of some tables, require having their settings curve by the "rule of thumb." The course of the meal governs the amount of silverware to be placed at each setting. The liquid items, such as coffee, tea, water, juice, wine, dessert wine are on the right side. Bread dish is left side. Furthermore, it is proper etiquette to replace the goblet back to the same spot it began from, as well as any other beverage. This keeps the table as uniformed as it had begun. Shoving the plate back or placing the goblet or cup off center, is not considered polite.
• When the host or hostess leaves the table, the guests should as well, retiring to the room the host or hostess guides the guests to. This gives the servants the opportunity to clear the table and snuff the candles out.
• Opening the door. When a dominant in the company of their slave, should have a slow enough pace, as to permit the slave to lengthen their stride, enough so that they reach the door, to open the door fully, to allow passage of the dominant and resume their proper place. Double doors, the dominant halts until that second door is fully opened and they pass. Then resume their proper spot.
• BDSM teas. A lot has not been published about such teas but the tea protocol is as different as teas themselves. However, formal BDSM tea would be along the guidelines of tea anywhere else. Yet, the seating of a BDSM tea is much different, as well as the participation of the host or hostess and the servants and or slaves. Men’s formal BDSM tea would have gentlemen wear their formal leather attire, which may range from white shirt, leather vest buttoned or snapped, wearing a sash or other means of denoting their dominant status. Floggers are discouraged as they may poke a hole in the furniture upholstery and scar up the wood finish. The same holds true with knives. The lady’s formal BDSM tea would have the ladies wear white gloves, medium heel black shoes, with closed toes, nude or clear hosiery or stockings, white blouse, pearls and preferred is a hat, such as a pillbox hat with the veil extending to the tip or above slightly the nose. Hair must be neat, in a bun or hairnet. In both cases, the host or hostess does not wear gloves or hats. The host or hostess sits, their honored guest to their left, the ranking dominants to that guest is left. If equal ranking dominants attend, then by alphabet they are seated. Slaves and servants do not remain in the room during tea, with the exception of actual service. The host or hostess will have their most experienced slave, to act as a butler or major domo. This slave will direct the rest of the slaves as far as timing, twenty minutes between courses of the entire tea. The signal is silent, the host/hostess will nod to the butler, major domo, first slave, alpha slave. That slave will then cause the first course to be served. Dependent on the actual tea "type" being offered, to which are many types of teas, the topic on teas would be to long for this particular presentation.

PERSONAL SERVICE

• BDSM teas, to which may be formal, semi-formal or casual, the serving protocol remains the same. However, the dress code for casual is toned down more. This also may be the time where slaves or servants are serving in the nude but it really is preference of the host or hostess. Most public BDSM teas are where men are covered in the genital area as well as the women. The idea is to serve and not be a temptation for some touching or fondling. In a casual BDSM tea, it still is not the proper time for a dominant to touch or delay service by genital play. Play can come later after the tea’s conclusion. The same applies to all BDSM teas. Another tea service area that is not followed well, is that if one slave is partly dressed, all slaves must be partly dressed. If all are to be naked, there should be no exceptions. Uniformity is most important. This should apply to guest slaves as well. If the guest has a slave or submissive who is unwilling to be under the shared standards of the serving slaves, they should take on tasks such as removing trash to the outside, helping with luggage or bags or moving automobiles. In serving tea, slaves should not be heard holding a conversation with a guest, with the exception of serving questions, such as how much sugar, cream, etc. Dominants who wish to hold a conversation with a particular individual should wait till after the tea. Teas take timing and smooth operation. This is also not the time for a dominant to train a slave or submissive how to serve. The actual tea is the time to show to all the training and hard work invested. Idle slaves are to wait in another room with the exception of the alpha slave, butler, major domo or first slave. That slave should remain approximately six feet of the host/hostess, as to read the signals for the next course or the ending of the tea.
• The same rule applies as General Service, Rule 4. The napkin is the signal as to start the meal and end the meal.
• The same rule applies as General Service, Rule 6. The silverware is placed as to sit at 10 o’clock and 4 o’clock position, with fork tines down and the blade inward. This is a silent signal to remove the plate.
• Most dominants that live the lifestyle in house, such as live-in slave or a chain of live in slaves, use a schedule or a household manual to operate by. Slaves at the end of the day look at the schedule as to permit their owner to amend if necessary the schedule, as well as to be aware what their owner’s schedule for the day. In a multiple slave house, there should be at least one slave on duty to tend to their owner. Personal preference of an individual supersedes any preference by the presenter. However, the presenter has an attachment as to how they run their multiple slave houses.

DUNGEON SERVICE

• Masters: - Service is as good as the Master or Mistress demands. The objective in having silent service is to have the slave or slaves, to properly enter and carry the required and requested equipment into the dungeon. Set the equipment up as to align the equipment, such as whips, paddles, and bondage and torture tools as per your personal tastes.
• Slaves: - Service is as good as your training. Your owner or handler will have trained you or brief you what procedure they require within the dungeon, what signals for obedience will be used. Silence is appreciated during a scene, so in serving quietly it is artful, skillful and splendid in its own right.
• Solo or Single Masters/Mistress: - Silent service is harder to achieve without a play partner that knows your wishes. Yet, basic hand signals will do well, especially if the time is taken to teach them.
• Single or solo submissive types: - Please do not consider yourself a slave. Although you may have slave tendencies, until you are owned, one who is without a collar is submissive, as submissive types have the ultimate choice. If not in play, clean up and be busy. Show yourself.

BASIC DUNGEON SILENCE AND SERVICE

There are ways to behave in a dungeon. The smaller the dungeon is, the more important it is to maintain the silence. In club dungeons, due to most of the clientele, the knowledge and experience of the clientele cannot be assured. However, this is the greatest opportunity to show the art of service in a skillful manner. By exhibiting this skill, perhaps the influence to change the noise to silence, with the exception of the moans, the whip’s application and the effortless demeanor and tasks completed by service in silent splendor.

• Proper entry into an active dungeon, which means a scene is in progress, is to enter quietly and watch, listen and keep out of the way. If a solo or single dominant, most silent codes for such are keys outside the left pocket, as to stay consistent with wearing the flogger on the left or flag. Keys out mean that dominant are looking. Keys inside means the dominant is not looking. If a solo or single submissive, keys are worn on the right side, keys out means they are looking, keys in they are not looking. In some rare occasions there may be a submissive wearing a collar. If the lock is unlocked, it means that individual is looking. If the collar is locked, it means they are owned or spoken for. At times, this is just for that night’s scene. If there is an interest in that individual, ask the dominant who is working them, as to inquire if there is a possibility.
• Approaching a dominant in a scene friendly dungeon, is awkward at best. However, proper etiquette would be where a submissive or slave kneels approximately three feet away, which is considered "personal space." A submissive or slave can kneel with thighs closed as to be a silent status, that they are virgin or novice. A submissive or slave that parts their thighs, is a silent status that they are not virgin or novice. The placements of hands are also important to a keen dominant’s eye. The hands down on the thighs, while parted thighs, means sexually close but not a virgin or novice. Hands up on closed thighs means, they are open to serving but are virgin or novice. More patience is given to the virgin or novice. More advanced conduct is expected for those who have more knowledge. Most advanced players will kneel with thighs apart and cross their wrist in the small of their back, usually if trained in the Old European School and in the European Gay Male Leather lifestyle, it is extremely different, and described as standing behind the neck, hands are clasped and feet apart, eyes up and forward [Position: Inspect]. Those with physical c hallenges that prevent them from realistically kneeling, take the standing approach, thighs parted shoulder width, with hands behind the small of their back (such as found with parade rest), or clasped hands behind the neck. Novice or virgin submissive types have their legs closer together as if at attention. Palms out means available for service and palms against the thigh are closed for service. For those who may wish to follow the European Gay Leather standard positions, may I suggest that, there are five (5) standard positions. Inspection, as described as before, "Attention," which is much like a military attention, with feet at a thirty degree angle, hands flat against the thigh, legs together, head up, eyes forward, straight and proud. "At Ease," is much like the United State’s military at ease command, "Offer," which is kneeling with thighs wide apart, forehead to the ground, forming a triangle, with the point of knees, forehead on the floor, with the now free hands, part buttocks cheeks exposing the anus and your genitals, raising the buttocks up as high as possible. "Loo" is a position, of a kneel, with thighs parted wide, sitting on your heels, then opening wide your mouth, the hands should be clasped at the neck. "Wank," is another European Gay position as well, with a command. Kneeling, with hips cocked up, with eyes up, head up, taking the left hand and reach behind, inserting a forefinger into the anus, then with the right, masturbate, don‘t close your eyes, enjoy yourself too much. With "offer," "loo" and "wank," these positions are a "must be naked" situation. Slaves and submissive types should not move within the three-foot zone without approval of the dominant. Stay still. Stay quiet. Be patient. A keen dominant will notice you in due time. Then with a gesture, a nod or a wave of the hand to approach will be given, perhaps a short command such as "approach," or "come." Once inside that, dominant’s personal space the attention should be entirely on that dominant. Do not let any other dominant distract or reply to another dominant. Once given the command to enter the dominant’s personal space, keeping lower then the dominant is polite and etiquette correct, thus knee walking is preferred and appreciated. Once near the dominant’s feet, then reset into the same kneeling or standing position that was offered further out or outside the dominant’s personal space. [Note: Positions and commands in a more heterosexual setting may be different, thus placing it at the back page of this presentation handout]
• The approached dominant should direct the individual slave, submissive type or bottom to do the tasks requested. Having that individual repeat back the request, they can be excused to do so.
• As submissive types or slaves have a task to perform, which has them leave the dominant’s personal space, it is proper to knee walk back out to the three foot range and get to their feet, then back up a bit more, approximately six feet, before turning away to finish the task. By this act of approaching and leaving a dominant’s personal space with respect and honor, it is the formal manner to approach a seated dominant. In most cases, turning around and having your back so close to a dominant, is an insult. If you think about it, your buttocks are in their face and a gesture as if to say, "Kiss my ass." It is also an ancient sign of respect or showing yourself not to be a threat, as to expose yourself by backing, no weapons were hidden from view. Because the weapons are usually small when attacking, it was done so in close quarters. This is why, backing away and being at a tactical and physical disadvantaged eased the mind of an authority figure. By kneeling, the dominant does not have their vision obstructed. This is also has roots in warrior tactics as well as handling prisoners, as to keep them at a physical disadvantage.
• If a submissive or slave has brought back a beverage, that submissive or slave repeats the approach procedure, then pulls the tab to the soda and pours it into the cup, adds the sugar and cream if it is coffee and stirs counter clockwise, then clockwise and then side to side. This ritual that is done silently, honors the past (counter clockwise), the future (clockwise) and the present (side to side, sunrise to sunset). The stirring of a dominant’s tea is also the same as coffee however, it is rare to find cream in tea in the United States.
• Approaching a dominant to do a scene. The same general procedure to follow would be that of Dungeon Service, Rule 2. If the dominant has the submissive or slave go to a piece of bondage furniture, their "to task" follows Dungeon Service, Rules 2,3 and 4.
• IF, a submissive or slave has their own whip, such as those who have dedicated instruments, they follow Dungeon Service Rule 2. However, rise in both hands, palms up, with the handle of the whip or knife in the weak hand and blade or whip’s tails or cracker in the strong hand. This gesture is traditional, to honor the dominant as not offering them a weapon you can use on them. Having the handle in the weak hand is less accurate, thus in ancient times, a Master or Slave handler was able to flee or take offense/defense action. If the submissive or slave is offering a sharp object the blade is towards that slave or submissive. Once in the hands of the dominant, they then handle the blade with the strong hand and supported by the weak hand. The submissive or slave should not breath upon the whip or instrument of the dominant’s. It is much like the etiquette on handling a sword. Since this is a personal item, carefully selected and chosen by that dominant, such handling requires respect and separation
• You will often notice, an experienced slave will not sit on any piece of furniture. They will often kneel, stand or stay against the wall. Submissive types that are not owned may follow this protocol as well, which again will be noticed by keen eyes.
• In greeting a Master, the slave/submissive will get on their knees in the "Formal Presentment" position and will wait till you are acknowledged. Then you will greet the Master/Mistress. "Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Master/Mistress _________." Your slave presents himself/herself for your service and pleasure Sir/Ma'am. However, if they are not your owner, you may omit the wording "your slave." You may wish to use, "this submissive" instead. Being polite and respectful is always a plus.
• When a Master or Mistress at the table wishes to stand, they will give an indication that they will do so. By placing the napkin to the table, that is the cue that the slave or submissive, should assist with the chair or assume a position where you are not under foot. Please keep in mind, that when you are near or inside the three-foot perimeter, you are in their personal space. The proper distance to maintain is six feet around the dominant who you serve.
• As a solo submissive type, you approach a dominant individual, please give your entire attention and focus on them. If there is a change of desire to be of service to that dominant, ask permission to be dismissed or excused. It is not polite to be seen as a social butterfly.
• If a dominant does not acknowledge you, as a submissive in a reasonable amount of time, as well as good measure of patience, back away quietly with eyes down until outside the three-foot premises of that dominant. It is also understood, that if a dominant is engaged in conversation with others, they will only acknowledge a submissive when they are able to do so. However, the submissive that does not interrupt will be seen as experienced and may be accepted or approached by that dominant, once their conversation has been concluded.
• Although submissive types may have a lot to speak about, have a lot of knowledge to share with a novice dominant, experience shows that the best practice of submission as a silent act, is being more of a listener than a chatterbox. It may be more accepted if taking the conversation outside the dungeon and speak at length.
• Investiture of the dominant, within the dungeon has a ritual that is not often practice but, when it is demonstrated by experienced individuals, it is a beautiful protocol followed, as to acknowledge, empower and as well as to begin the scene. Usually practiced by an established Master and slave, it is much like giving the tokens of knighthood to the dominant. This is what you should see, depending on the region, style and personal practices between the Master and slave. Please let me explain.
  1. Once a Master expresses the desire to scene, the slave will then prepare the Master’s space. The slave will bring the whips and place them as well as any other items within the scope of the Master’s choice, shall organize them how that individual Master prefers. The next step is to set upon the table, the leather vest, folded as to have the left side exposed, to symbolize the badge of authority or the badge or order. The belt is placed, to which the whip is hung from, much like the sash and saber of warriors, soldiers and knights. When the slave has prepared the area, then begins the next step.
  2. The Master steps into that space, is greeted by that slave in whatever preferred ritual or protocol manner they choose. When the Master parts his thighs, this begins the investiture process. The slave keeping eyes down, moves in silence and in smooth motion, with detail and crispness, begins dressing the Master. First, the belt is placed at the back of the Master, with the belt unfastened, whip attached, when the Master opens his arms to the side, the belt will be guided onto the Master from behind, where it will be held in place until the Master buckles the belt. The slaves will then take up the leather vest, opening it and stand behind the Master within three feet. When the Master opens his arms out, it signals the slave to move forward and offer the vest. Most Masters will place right arm in first, followed by the left. It really is a personal preference. Once the vest is on, the slave moves to the front and fastens the vest. The slave can be in either a kneeling position or standing but the eyes are to the ground or on the boots. The optional armband may be affixed next. The Master will then place his hands upon his hips or knuckles to the hips, the slave then takes the armband and places it onto the left upper arm, fitting it snuggly. There will be a nod, to gesture the placement of the cover, if the Master is not wearing a cover already. The slave seeing the nod, will then take the cover by the sweat band, never touching the visor as to smudge it, carries it to the rear of the Master, then slowly lets it descend till the cover rests upon the head. Like a warrior’s helmet or a kingly crown, the slave will act to correct how it sits if there is a mirror absent. If there is a mirror, the Master will adjust his attire. I will note here, that in some cases, slaves wear cloth gloves in this investiture procedure, which also helps not smudging visors, finger printing on the metal accessories.
  3. Once the scene is completed, this process can be reversed, as to ritually end the scene, as well as to cool and relax the dominant. This is optional, as some will wish to keep their appearance till the conclusion of the gathering, and remove what was placed in a reverse order when the Master retires to their bed.

At times there are occasions when a Master has another slave to work with, it is then the owned slave’s responsibility for another slave, for example on loan, in training or within the household, to compliment the scene by offering silent services, such as giving and receiving back the instruments the Master uses. This allows the Master to fluidly work with his tools, especially if his preferences are known. With quiet support, again the individual Master’s preferences supersede this presenter’s preferences. However, I prefer my equipment arranged soft to hard, left to right in impact groups. My silent signal to the assisting slave, for example is as follows: Splayed fingers for floggers, fingers together for paddles, two fingers together for straps, one finger for rods or canes, little finger for single tail. By a nod by the slave, I know they acknowledge my preference. In offering the requested item, they do so kneeling as to keep distractions to a minimum. The hold it, handle in weak hand and tails in the strong hand. If they receive it back from me, all efforts are made to hand it to their weak hand. This practice dates back to Imperial protocol that the hat, such as a top hat and walking cane was given to the servant placing the cane in the weak hand and the hat in the strong hand, knowing a cane could be used as a weapon. With a closed hand, the slave knows that I am finished.

All dominant individuals take great interest in how their personal items are handled. Picked carefully, personal choice paramount, in handling any tool for a dominant is an honor as well as opportunity to be intimately near a dominant. However, if that slave is a distraction more than a help to the dominant, the slave should be less conspicuous.

Investitures of a dominatrix, is similar to a dominant’s. The order is followed, however the preference of the dominatrix is paramount. She may not wish to be touched by a man, who dresses her with the tokens of her status. Therefore, it may be likely, that the slave proffers these items in order, allowing the dominatrix to dress herself. It is also important to understand that the dominatrix may indeed wish to be invested in the privacy of her own home and dungeon, allowing the male slave to touch her body however, in public settings to maintain the clear separation between dominatrix and slave, touching a lady would be considered rude.

Although we do not have our own "Lord Chamberlains" or all the service of a royal household, the BDSM culture in how we practice the defined separation between the dominant class and the submissive or servant class is loosely patterned by the long established nobility in running their households.

These "gentlemen in waiting" were normally of the same peer group, such as dukes, marquis, earls, viscounts and barons. The "ladies in waiting" were of the same level, often a spouse to a duke, marquis, ear, viscount or baron. The "women in waiting" were usually spouse to knights and baronets.

In serving the sovereign, the nobility learned how to give service, be obedient and discreet. In knowing this side of service to their sovereign, the art of giving service and accepting service was learned and appreciated. It was also transferred to the colonies of North America, separating the classes.

How it applies to the modern, BDSM Master or Mistress is depending on the personal preferences of those involved in each household and relationship.

Let us now begin addressing silent service within the dungeon, the BDSM friendly environments which offer the opportunity to command the attention and obedience of a slave or submissive. Again, this practice is superseded by personal preference between established Masters and slaves but, for the purpose of this presentation, it is hoped to offer help to the solo novice who is interested in approaching, as well as learning or interacting with a dominant.

Since the whole premise behind "silent service" is to take commands in a nonverbal manner, yet execute such commands with prompt response as well as correct response.

As a submissive will have their eyes to the boots before them, it is difficult for them to see any hand signals above the belt. However, if the submissive is at a distance, they are better able to see any hand gestures around the belt and the thigh level of the dominant.

I find in pointing to my feet, a slave or submissive promptly respond and present themselves at my feet. I have the option of raising their chin, look into their eyes and softly speak, giving guidance. With an experience slave, by pointing to my left, then using two fingers curl them as to appear as a kneel, it is often they understand to kneel at the left side. If my fingers move apart, so do their thighs. If my fingers are closed, the thighs are closed. By holding two fingers in an inverted "V" the understanding is to stand, with thighs parted. If I invert the two fingers which are closed, the understanding is to stand with legs together. Placing my palm down and moving it in a down motion, the understanding is to lower to the floor or "down." Placing my palm upward, is a gesture to rise. By shifting my left foot, they move over to the right as they face me. Shifting my right foot, they move to the left. By moving my feet together, it is understood as to stay. With my palm to my thigh, my hand moves out, it is understood to back up. Placing the palm to my thigh, it means to come forward. I have also found, if a slave is positioned behind me a half a step behind or more, to my left, the slave responds more promptly if I move off with my left foot, as his eyes see my foot move, he then begins to step in properly and at my pace.

When I sit, these commands are general easy to follow. However, in sitting, I remove the ability of the slave to see my hand around the thigh area. I find when I give commands in front of the arms of a chair or against the knee as I sit, the slave or submissive pick up on the movement. If not, I shift my feet to have them move far enough back as to see.

It is hoped, that during these signals given, the slave or submissive does not add to the gestures by showing affection or speaking. This is not the time to speak. Of course if the signals are not obeyed, there must be the assumption that they are not familiar with such gestures. It becomes necessary to physically place them into the position.

If a slave or submissive has been kneeling for a period of time, showing signs of discomfort or if the Dominant wishes to have them rest by sitting, the gesture used and understood for me, is placing my two fingers in the flat of my palm as to mean "sit" or "at rest."

Although the time is not proper to praise these efforts, it means a lot to a slave or submissive, to smile, to nod in acknowledgement, to caress their head or cheek as a means of silent praise. When opportunity permits, speaking to them more about their obedience to the hand signals, will provide more knowledge and awareness of how well they did as well as what areas to improve on. The dominant should never assume the solo individual or solo submissive knows such commands in silence, so gently correct and always end on a positive note, such as how well they did and how proud you are.

Another form of silent service is by the exchange of written notes. In an ideal situation, the note is placed on a little silver tray, and proffered to the dominant. On the tray is supplied a pen or pencil. If the dominant has a response they do so in the note, placing the paper note and pencil or pen back onto the tray. The slave or submissive backs away out of the dominant’s personal space and leave the area as to read the note. Most times the dominant’s request is fully complied with. Service is returned, sometimes by the note with further details or the requested refreshments or the whip that is specified.

The fan is another form of communication. Majority of using the hand fan is done by women. It is also another form of silent communication. Here is the list of "fan talk."

"Yes." Rest the fan on your right cheek.
"No." Rest the fan on your left cheek.
"I wish to speak with you." Close the fan.
"I desire your acquaintance." Carry the fan in your left hand before your face.
"I am engaged." Fan yourself very quickly.
"I am married." Fan yourself slowly.
"We will be friends." Drop the fan.
"Wait for me." Open your fan wide.
"Follow me." Carry the fan in your right hand before your face.
"We are being watched." Twirl the fan in your left hand.
"I love you." Draw the fan across your cheek.
"Do you love me?" Present the fan closed.
"You are too willing." Hold the handle to your lips.
"I love another." Twirl your fan in your right hand.
"I am sorry." Draw your fan across your eyes.
"You have changed." Draw your fan across your forehead.
"You are cruel." Open and shut your fan several times in succession.
"I wish to get rid of you." Place your fan against your left ear.
"I hate you!" Draw your fan through your left hand swiftly.

In the dungeon, the fan can be substituted with a crop or a cane but, if she is a lady she will have a fan. She will also not have the extensive fan code but at least the yes and no down. The fan code will be more extensive between the Owner and slave.

In the Victorian age, the use of flowers to give silent communications made it’s way into the art of communication. Even Sigmund Freud, tinkered in the studies of how flowers expressed emotion. Here is the list of the Victorian meanings behind the flowers:

• Apple blossoms - Hope
• Camellia (white) - Loveliness
• Carnation (pink) - Woman’s love
• Daisy - Cheerfulness
• Fern - Sincerity, fascination
• Forget-me-not - True love, remembrance
• Iris (common) - My compliments
• Iris (German bearded) - Ardor
• Hyacinth (white) - Beauty
• Ivy - Fidelity, loyalty
• Pansy - Thoughtfulness
• Peony - Bashfulness
• Primrose - Childhood, youth
• Rose - Giving a rosebud I love you.
  Red rosebud You are young and beautiful.
  Full-blown rose above two buds - We must keep this a secret.
  Single white rose Worthiness of the receiver.
  Yellow rose Jealousy or infidelity by the giver
  
• Violet - Modesty

Currently, the rose now has different meanings in current society, they have changed from the Victorian times to, yellow rose means good friend or affection but, not "love." Roses have also changed to where there are pink roses, which can mean the same as "dear friend and fond affection," bearing in mind the blending of white and red, makes pink.

Another area of "silent submission," is practiced with those who speak "sign language." Those who are fluent in such, add to the mystique of "silent service." It is extremely helpful to know basic sign language, as to bridge the communication gap.

Here are the basic finger alphabet to which may aid anyone who wishes to communicate in silent "signs." I can gladly state, that those who are hearing impaired are eager to teach anyone who shows an interest in learning their language.

Now, here is the list of alphabets and numbers:

[Numbers:]