When Will It Ever Stop?

Harassment and How To Deal With It

By Norische

In the past I have read horror stories about slaves that have been stalked by previous owners, tormented and harassed by those they thought they could trust and respect. Innocent lives turned into nightmares, nerves ripped asunder and the light of hope stolen from the eyes of the unsuspecting victims. Fear takes over, their lives are no longer their own, even though they are no longer collared to this terrorist they are not free either. The connection forced upon them is just as binding as chain, rope or leather.

We can sympathize with these individuals because we see them as the weaker form within the BDSM realm, but what of the Dominants who suffer from the same horror. In all reality the threat of such incomprehensible and dishonorable behavior is very real for all parties within the BDSM realm, Owner, slave, Dominant, submissive, top, bottom or switch... all are equally likely to be harassed, threatened or stalked.

Through a recent experience with a rejected slave I have found myself forced to deal with the ugly reality of the mentally unbalanced. The male came to me at the first part of November, on a two-week trial period. The male was asked to leave my home after only a few days, when it became apparent that he was an alcoholic and abused prescription medications. Unfortunately, even after his dismissal from my home the male continues to make contact. In the past two months he has sent repeated threatening emails stating that he will write an article with warped facts of a drug and alcohol induced stupor that the male remained in for the entirety of his stay here. He states that he will supply my name, phone number, address and contact information for everyone and that he will give them the real information so the article will seem more realistic. He has also called my slave, betsy, every thing from a racist, to a psychopath, and states that he is going to tell the world what a controlling bitch she is... Apparently he is a not only an addict he is also mentally unbalanced. To say the least the last two months have been an adventure.

Having a degree in psychology I am well aware of the reasons behind his behavior. From a psychological point of view the male is crying out for attention. At this point he is so desperate for someone to pay attention to him that is no longer matters whether it is positive attention or negative attention, all that matters is that he is getting attention. In it's mild form negative attention encourages inappropriate behavior, like belching in public. In its more extreme forms negative attention may encourage behaviors that are either illegal or immoral or both. Individuals such as serial killers thrive on the negative attention they receive from their warped acts of violence.

The second factor in this equation is that he was removed from my home. Which to most individuals would mean that there was a problem with him or his behavior. Unfortunately, since this individual does not accept rejection well, and refused to accept responsibility for his own actions, hence he evidentially is not responsible for what happened. Somehow in his mind the experience has been warped to the degree that suddenly betsy was the one who has the problem. Somehow betsy was the one that was psychotic, she was the one that was lazy, and tried to dominate me, she was the one that made it too difficult for the male to remain here. His leaving had nothing to do with his behavior, none of it was his responsibility it was all someone else. Also since it was all someone else then there is no reason he should change his behavior, right? Well at least it is a good excuse for a warped mind, why take responsibility for your own actions when it is so much easier to blame someone else. It is the behaviors of this male that have encouraged me to look into the legal issues of harassment, slander, stalking, and liable.

In 1996 the phrase "Cyber stalking" was unknown to the realm of the Internet savvy. However, in August of 1999 Cyberstalking gained a new focus in a report presented from the Attorney General to the Vice President. At that point several states began reviewing their laws and regulations on harassment and stalking, to include email, web sites, and other forms of online communication.

In December of 1999, Missouri (where I am from) initiated Senate Bill No. 758 at the second regular session of the 90th General Assembly. This bill presented new definitions for harassment to include "any electronic communications". 565.090. 1. A person commits the crime of harassment if for the purpose of frightening or disturbing another person, he

Communicates in writing, including any electronic communications, [or] by telephone, or in person a threat to commit any felony; or
[Makes a telephone call or] Communicates in writing, including any electronic communication, or by telephone and, in the course of such communication, [and] uses coarse language offensive to one of average sensibility; or
[Makes a telephone call anonymously] Communicates in writing, including any electronic communication, or by telephone in a manner that does not reveal the person's identity; or
Sends repeated written messages, including electronic communications, or makes repeated telephone calls.

Harassment is a class A misdemeanor except that a violation of subdivision (1) of subsection 1 of this section is a class D felony.

565.225

Definitions associated with this section are as follows:
1. "Course of conduct", a pattern of conduct composed of a series of acts over a period of time, however short, evidencing a continuity of purpose, Constitutionally protected activity is not included within the meaning of "course of conduct". Such constitutionally protected activities includes picketing or other organized protests;
2. "Credible threat", a threat made with the intent to cause the person who is the target of the threat to reasonably fear for his or her safety. The threat must be against the life of, or a threat to cause physical injury to, a person and includes a threat communicated to the targeted person in writing, including electronic communications, by telephone, or by the posting of site or message that is publicly accessible via a computer and is reasonably is reasonable likely to cause the targeted person to reasonably fear for his or her safety if made aware of the content of the site of message;
3. "Harasses", to engage in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that serves no legitimate purpose, that would cause a reasonable person to suffer substantial emotional distress, and that actually causes substantial emotional distress to that person.
Any person who purposely and repeatedly harasses or follows with the intent of harassing another person commits the crime of stalking.
Any person who purposely and repeatedly harasses or follows with the intent of harassing or harasses another person, and makes a credible threat with the intent to place that person in reasonable fear of death or serious physical injury, commits the crime of aggravated stalking.
The crime of stalking shall be a class A misdemeanor for the first offense. A second or subsequent offense within five years of a previous finding or plea of guilt against any victim shall be a class D felony.
The crime of aggravated stalking shall be a class D felony for the first offense. A second or subsequent offense within five years of a previous finding or plea of guilt against any victim shall be a class C felony.
Any law enforcement officer may arrest, without a warrant, any person he or she has probable cause to believe has violated provisions of this section.

A couple of additional tips...

In 1998 then President Clinton signed a bill to make it a federal crime if the harassment involves a minor.
In 1996 President Clinton signed into law the Interstate Stalking Act, in which if the individual crosses state lines with the intent to injure or harass another person then this is considered a federal crime.
Under 18 U.S.C. 875 (c), it is a federal crime, punishable by up to five years in prison and a fine of up to $250,000.00 to transmit any communication interstate containing a threat to injure the person of another. This would include via email, beepers, telephone or the Internet.
47 U.S.C. Title 18: Section 2261 A revises stalking to include threats against an individual's immediate family, spouse, or intimate partner.
The US Communications Decency Act of 1996 states it is a federal crime if an individual makes, creates, solicits, and initiates the transmission of, of any comment, request, suggestion, proposal, image or other communication which is obscene, lewd, filthy, or indecent, with the intent to annoy, abuse, or threaten.

Statistics: Over 90 percent of the Cyberstalking (or related crimes) victims are women, There are over 500 million individuals online (estimated as of 2003) and if only 1% is a victim of this crime that means that over 5 million individuals will suffer through this horrific experience.

Most individuals feel that they can remain anonymous on the Internet. The majority of cases involve stranger-to-stranger communications.

Currently there are 42 states that have cyber stalking, or related crimes listed on the books, this does not include those laws that specifically have to do with minors.

Legalities: In the state of Missouri, where I am from, harassment is considered a class A misdemeanor, unless the offense is committed more than once, then it becomes a class D felony, In order to understand what exactly what harassment is I went to the local ordinances and laws

In general the law states that to harass is to engage in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that serves no legitimate purpose, that would cause a reasonable person to suffer substantial emotional distress, and that actually causes substantial emotional distress to that person.

A class "A" misdemeanor is punishable by up to a two thousand five hundred dollar fine and no more than 12 months in jail. A class "D" felony is punishable by up to a ten thousand dollar fine and no less than two years yet no more than ten years in prison. Please keep in mind that these sentences are based on a state by state example, each state may have different regulations.

Also the specifics of the case will decide the penalty and severity of the crime, for example if the harassment was made multiple times, then the offence goes from a class A misdemeanor to a class D felony, If the harassment involves a minor then it is a class D felony, the same as if there is a weapon involved. If the harassment crosses state lines then the harassment becomes a federal offence punishable by up to 6 yrs in prison and 250,000 dollars. What To Do About Harassment or Cyberstalking

Inform the individual in very plain straight forward terms to "Leave me alone, stop harassing me, Do not contact me again."
Do not reply to anything else the individual says.
Try to avoid those places that you know the individual will be, such as a specific chat room or group.
Seriously consider changing your email address, or identity in your groups or chats.
If the harassment is done through email then you need to contact the individual's Internet Service Provider and file the appropriate complaint. Most of such abuse can be reported to "abuse" @ IPS. For example abuse@aol.com or abuse@yahoo.com, or abuse@msn.com.
Check all of your online profiles, make sure that they do not contain any personally identifying information, such as the city you live in, phone numbers, your address, your school, your place of business, the church you belong to, even the kind of car you drive or your birth date.
Make sure that you have you log in as invisible to your instant messenger, so that only those individuals you wish to know you are on line will know.
Keep all ICQ and IRC log files that pertain to the harassment for evidence.
Keep all e-mails that originate from the individual and any replies you sent for evidence.
If you feel you or your family is in physical danger from this stalker, or the stalker knows where you live or has made physical threats against you- CALL YOUR LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY.
Unless there have been actual death threats made, you should not contact the Federal Bureau of Investigation. If you are unsure of what to do, go to your local law enforcement and ask for advice.

Everyone feels helpless sometimes, but there is no fear so great as knowing that there is someone out there wanting to destroy your life and you are helpless to do anything about it. Can someone that is stalking you on the Internet really hurt you? YES! There is a lot of information about each individual on the Internet, and yes it is accessible to almost everyone as long as you know where to look, you don't even have to have a computer or know how to work one to have your information spread out there on this information super highway. If you have a phone in your name someone can get your phone number and address in a mere blink of an eye. With just that little bit of information an individual can go to different web sites and pay anywhere from 30 dollars on up and get a wide variety of information on you. Your date of birth, where you went to school, what kind of car you drive, your criminal record, how much money you owe, how many credit cards you have, do you have a gun registered in your name, your resume, the list is endless. It is a terrifying thought that all it takes is the right amount of ingenuity and a computer and a person can destroy your life forever.

One thing I must state, there are agencies out there that help fight this type of behavior, even the Internet Providers offer some form of security. However, no amount of assistance can make the fear go away, once you realize that are powerless against someone determined to harass and terrorize you and those you care about.

This is a great site to find the laws on harassment for each state. http://www.haltabuse.org/resources/laws/missouri.shtml

This site gives excellent information as to definitions and legal assistance about online harassment, threats and non-sexual stalking. http://cybercrimes.net/99MSCCC/MSCCC/Article2/2.02.2.html

Reporting harassment through Yahoo.
http://abuse.yahoo.com/

WHOA (Working to Halt Online Abuse) great resource site,
http://www.haltabuse.org/resources/stats/index.shtml

Interesting Article
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2000/07/10/MN39633.DTL

Cyber stalking network, excellent references, and this site has both state and federal laws and multiple resources available.
http://www.cyber-stalking.net/

Cyber angels, world's oldest and largest Internet safety organization
http://www.cyberangels.org/

1999 Report on Cyberstalking: A New Challenge for Law Enforcement and Industry
https://www.justice.gov/archive/opa/pr/1999/September/421ag.htm Cyber Criminals Most Wanted
http://www.ccmostwanted.com/LL/us.htm#StateLaws

As with everything this is my opinion, take what you will and leave the rest. If you wish to contact me, my email address is Norisch1@mchsi.com. If you wish to see more of my work you may find a complete listing of all my writings at... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Norisches_Quill/?yguid=99788111 in the files section.