Things You Don't Want To Hear When Blindfolded, Gagged, And Shackled Naked To The Wall

copyright © Alkallah 1998

• Hmm, I've never tried this in real life before, but I'm the best there is at it on-line..
• Just out of curiosity, umm, you weren't planning a career as an athlete, were you?.
• You do have health insurance, right?.
• You remind me a lot of my ex. That frigging idiot who bled me dry and left me..
• Oops..
• Now children, see what happens to bad boys and girls who don't listen to their parents?.
• Come on in! It's open!.
• Girlfriend, honey, whatcha doing? You are not going to believe this! Guess who stopped over today? Yes!! And he's still here, just hanging out....
• By any chance, does your mother drive a white Hyundai?.
• Wow, your blood's a really pretty shade of red!.
• I wish this came with an instruction manual..
• Gee, the last person I did this to is still in a coma..
• Do you know which end of this I'm supposed to insert in you?.
• If you were me, where would hide a body so no one would find it?.
• You don't mind if I let the pit bull in, do you? She's barking up a storm out there..
• Say cheese!.
• There is a really big spider on the wall right next to your arm..
• I'll be right back, I forgot I have an appointment at the hairdresser's..
• Oh man, you don't remember what I did with the key, do you?.
• Have you given any thought as to what you want in your obituary?.
• I never really liked you to begin with...
  (complete and total silence).
• umm, 911? Yeah, I think I made a slight error....
• POLICE!!! OPEN UP!!!!!.
• Honey?!? You're home early!.
• I told you I am a pro Domme. And you haven't paid me yet. Oh, that's OK, I'll just take it out of your wallet now so you don't have to remember to do it later.