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Special Instructions and Warnings

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods

On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping"
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside"
(The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how...)
On some Swann frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it's just a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down."
(OOpS ---- Too Late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread pudding: "product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows the day...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness"
(One would hope)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only"
(As opposed to what other uses?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use"
(I gotta admit, I'm curious - what other use???)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts"
(Talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts"
(Step 3: Fly Delta)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly"
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one)
On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals"
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere???)