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" Quotes about Sex "

  • "What do I know about sex? I'm a married man."
    --Tom Clancy
  • "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
    --Steve Martin
  • "You know that look women get when they want sex?... Me neither."
    --Drew Carey
  • "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good."
    --Woody Allen
  • "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
    --Unknown
  • "If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
    --Rodney Dangerfield
  • "My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet."
    --Bill Kelly
  • "As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and clergymen."
    -- Rev. Sydney Smith
  • "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
    --Woody Allen
  • "Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."
    --Sam Austin
  • "I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."
    --George Burns
  • "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
    --Matt Barry
  • "Leaving sex to the clergy is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
    --Camille Paglia
  • "Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
    --Unknown
  • "My kid had sex with your honor student."
    --Bumper Sticker
  • "My sexual preference is not you."
    --Tshirt
  • "Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
    --Michael Sinz
  • "Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
    --Woody Allen
  • "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
    --George Burns
  • "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
    --Henry Miller
  • "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."
    --Lynn Lavner
  • "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
  • This is the year of the tri-sexual. Men...women...and plants. And what do you have against plants?