DA RULES...

• I will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Master decides what to use to spank me.

• I will not applaud when Master uses big words.

• I will not genuflect at Mater's erection.

• I will not perform a ventriloquist act with Master's penis.

• I will not refer to Master's kitty as snake food.

• I will not say, "Good Boy!" to Master.

• I will not make shadow puppets while Master is tying me up.

• I will not critique how Master ties me up.

• When Master is kind enough to bring me a cup of tea, I will not call him the tea fairy.

• I am always the spankee, never the spanker.

• I will not tell Master he has permission to fuck me

• I will not snarl when Master asks me to share my chocolate.

• I will not yawn while waiting for Master to cum.

• I will not chew my collar.

• I will not giggle during paddling.

• I will not play connect the dots with Master's freckles.

• When asked how many spanks my behavior warrants, I will not answer in fractions.

• On second thought, I will applaud when Master uses big words but hooting and whistling is excessive.

• Master's dog does not stink.